Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Write at least 250 words.
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26 thoughts on “WT-2, 27/11,2025, Premium-145”
Jannatul Fardaous Alif
It is though by some people that time has decreased because of technology development , however other people think it actually increased crime. In my opinion, because of technology crime has increased.
On the one hand, technology made our life so much easier that it provides privacy but some people can not protect their personal information then crime increase. Although, many believe that technology development decreases crime that is not the case in this modern world , there is so many people who take advantage of technology to make money in a wrong way. Because of technology the number of crime has increased such as stalker, cybersecurity violation, stealing, bullying etc.
On the other hand, technology does decrease a decent amount of crime as an example people feel safe because of technology. If someone feel they are not safe they can call police in a minute through technology. Also not to mention there is bunch of benefits that technology provides such as it gives you a sense of protection. That is why technology development declined a few crimes but increased even more crime. Also the recent survey showed that the number of crimes has increased in this decades significantly by 50%, which is concerning. Anyone in the world can now easily get someone private information by internet, which encourages crime.
To sum up, technology did declined some crimes but it is encouraging even more, which is why the number of crime is increasing drastically around the world. Government should take some crucial steps to prevent crime.
It is though by some people → It is thought by some people
other people think it actually increased crime → other people think it has actually increased crime
technology made our life so much easier → technology has made our lives much easier
some people can not protect their personal information then crime increase → some people cannot protect their personal information, and then crime increases
there is so many people → there are so many people
such as stalker, cybersecurity violation, stealing, bullying etc. → such as stalking, cybersecurity violations, stealing, bullying, etc.
technology does decrease a decent amount of crime → technology does decrease a certain amount of crime
If someone feel they are not safe → If someone feels they are not safe
Also not to mention there is bunch of benefits → Not to mention, there are a bunch of benefits
That is why technology development declined a few crimes but increased even more crime → That is why technological development has reduced some crimes but increased many others
recent survey showed that the number of crimes has increased in this decades → a recent survey showed that the number of crimes has increased in this decade
Anyone in the world can now easily get someone private information by internet → Anyone in the world can now easily access someone’s private information via the internet
technology did declined some crimes → technology has declined some crimes
it is encouraging even more → it is encouraging even more crime
number of crime is increasing drastically → number of crimes is increasing drastically
Sentence Structure
On the one hand, technology made our life so much easier that it provides privacy but some people can not protect their personal information then crime increase → On the one hand, technology has made our lives much easier by providing privacy; however, some people cannot protect their personal information, which leads to an increase in crime
Although, many believe that technology development decreases crime that is not the case in this modern world , there is so many people who take advantage of technology to make money in a wrong way → Although many believe that technological development decreases crime, that is not the case in the modern world, as many people take advantage of technology to make money illegally
Also not to mention there is bunch of benefits that technology provides such as it gives you a sense of protection → Moreover, technology provides many benefits, such as giving people a sense of protection
To sum up, technology did declined some crimes but it is encouraging even more, which is why the number of crime is increasing drastically around the world → To sum up, technology has reduced some crimes, but it is encouraging more crimes, which is why the number of crimes is increasing drastically worldwide
Word Selection
though → thought
life → lives
can not → cannot
increase → increases
so many people → many people
stalker → stalking
decent amount → certain amount
bunch of benefits → many benefits
did declined → has declined
number of crime → number of crimes
by internet → via the internet
encouraging → encouraging crime
Word Formation
crime → crimes
stalker → stalking
violation → violations
decades → decade
feel → feels
Capitalization
Government → Correct
Punctuation
life , there → life, there
world , there is → world, there are
benefits that technology provides such as it gives you → benefits that technology provides, such as giving you
In the era of high-tech technology people are mostly use it for development, where others remain optimistic that technological development can create offensive work. I believe that technology balanced both things but most of people are use it for minimal the offense.
The point that technological development create a safe future with so many futuristic gadgets. In this developed generation technology help with the benefits, people now use high tech cameras which look after the houses, important fields, offices for that the thief is not stole something in someone houses or offices. With that developed technology the internet are now more safe people can safe their website with the new developed functions and also the protected fire walls are most protective thing which safe most of the official web sites.
Conversely, there is strong belief that human conicity sometimes create bad impact on the world. Because of technological development some people use it for their personal benefits, they using for blackmailing, bank corruption, and also they demolish some of the important websites throw hacking them. With this smart technology some people encourage crimes in the whole world.
In my opinion, while the challenges are significant, technology offers powerful tools to mitigates the crimes. However, innovation make easier to catch the criminal with DNA matching, finger cells matching type high tech technology. With innovations its have pros and corns but now the progress of cyber security crimes are easily demolished.
In conclusion, both concerns about technological development decrease or increase crime are valid. The technological improvement not just increase crime, but also dominate with widespread implementation to high developed white hacking technology.
technological development can create offensive work → technological development can lead to harmful activities
most of people are use it → most people use it
minimal the offense → minimize offenses
The point that technological development create a safe future → Technological development creates a safer future
technology help with the benefits → technology provides many benefits
important fields → important areas
for that the thief is not stole something → so that thieves do not steal anything
the internet are now more safe → the internet is now safer
people can safe their website → people can secure their websites
fire walls are most protective thing → firewalls are the most protective tools
human conicity sometimes create bad impact → human curiosity or negligence sometimes creates a negative impact
they using for blackmailing, bank corruption → they use it for blackmailing and bank fraud
they demolish some of the important websites throw hacking them → they hack and destroy important websites
technology offers powerful tools to mitigates the crimes → technology offers powerful tools to mitigate crimes
innovation make easier to catch the criminal → innovation makes it easier to catch criminals
finger cells matching type high tech technology → fingerprint-matching high-tech systems
its have pros and corns → it has pros and cons
cyber security crimes are easily demolished → cybersecurity crimes can be prevented more effectively
the technological improvement not just increase crime → technological improvements do not just increase crime
dominate with widespread implementation to high developed white hacking technology → help combat crime through widespread use of advanced ethical hacking technology
Sentence Structure
In the era of high-tech technology people are mostly use it for development, where others remain optimistic that technological development can create offensive work → In the era of high-tech development, people mostly use technology for productive purposes, although some remain concerned that it can be misused
With that developed technology the internet are now more safe people can safe their website with the new developed functions and also the protected fire walls are most protective thing which safe most of the official web sites → With the development of technology, the internet is now safer; people can secure their websites using new functions, and protected firewalls safeguard most official sites
With innovations its have pros and corns but now the progress of cyber security crimes are easily demolished → Innovations have both pros and cons, but progress in cybersecurity allows many crimes to be prevented more effectively
Word Selection
use it for development → use it for development purposes
offensive work → harmful activities / crimes
minimal the offense → minimize offenses
look after the houses → monitor houses
demolish → destroy / hack
mitigates → mitigate
finger cells → fingerprints
corns → cons
high developed → highly developed
white hacking → ethical hacking
Word Formation
create → creates
help → helps / provides
using → use
its → it has
increase → increases
Capitalization
None major, but “DNA” is correct
Punctuation
commas needed after introductory phrases:
In the era of high-tech technology, people mostly use it…
In this developed generation, technology helps…
multiple clauses need proper separation with semicolons or full stop
some people argue that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others believe that it actually leads to more criminal activities . Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion .
On the one hand , many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security system .Modern CCTV cameras , face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminals . As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced . additionally , online banking , and digital payment systems reduced the need to carry cash , which lowers the chances of theft and robber.
On the other hand , some people believe technology encourages crime because it creates ne opportunities for criminal . criminal can steal personal information from peoples computers and mobile phones without even meeting them . furthermore , social media can also be misused for bulling , blackmailing , or spreading harmful content . In addition , advanced technology such as encypted ,massaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous group .
In my opinion , technology itself its not the problem . It depends on hoe people use it . therefor i believe that with proper lows and monitoring , technology can play a major role in reducing crime overall .
leads to more criminal activities → leads to more criminal activity
Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion → Both views will be discussed before I give my own opinion
it improves security system → it improves security systems
online banking , and digital payment systems reduced → online banking and digital payment systems reduce
ne opportunities for criminal → new opportunities for criminals
criminal can steal personal information from peoples computers → criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers
bulling , blackmailing → bullying, blackmailing
encypted ,massaging → encrypted messaging
technology itself its not the problem → technology itself is not the problem
hoe people use it → how people use it
therefor i believe → therefore, I believe
proper lows → proper laws
Sentence Structure
On the one hand , many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security system → On the one hand, many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security systems
As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced → As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes if they know they are being watched or can be traced
In addition , advanced technology such as encypted ,massaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous group → In addition, advanced technology such as encrypted messaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous groups
Technology development decreases offense which is believed by few individuals, whereas others believed that is mainly encourages crime. I believe technology development mostly decrease crime because it comes with advance system and that helps to reduce crime rate, although sometimes crimes happens by it for many reasons.
In one side, technology is growing day by day because of its merits and popularities, it has many qualities such as it makes our life easier. Besides this also help to reduce crime rate by creating security system for instance in bank account it provides high tech privacy which is must needed thing for money safety. Moreover, technology is in every sector for different purpose but in crime people using is most, for example making CCTV cameras for security to notice crime and identifying also, one research proved that in every sector individuals using highly technologies for safety purpose.
On the other side, sometimes it bring some crime issues, thief are also using technologies for wrong purpose, for instance they are now using different technologies for robbery with successfully. Also they using several sites for hacking and sick intention and individuals are unable to stop them because they are also using advance technology for crime. But it can be reduce by implementing some restrictions and rules, at the same time aware people that how they hack their stuffs and made offense.
To conclude, technology made a great impact on reducing crimes by including different systems and also give the maximum safety for individuals. However, sometimes it comes with crime by helping bad people with providing tech and wrong devices but compare to decreasing crime these are very minor problems are technician are working on that.
Technology development decreases offense which is believed by few individuals → Some individuals believe that technological development decreases crime
whereas others believed that is mainly encourages crime → whereas others believe that it mainly encourages crime
sometimes crimes happens by it for many reasons → sometimes crimes happen because of it for various reasons
In one side → On one hand
besides this also help to reduce crime rate → besides this, it also helps to reduce the crime rate
it provides high tech privacy which is must needed thing for money safety → it provides high-tech privacy, which is essential for protecting money
technology is in every sector for different purpose → technology is present in every sector for different purposes
in crime people using is most → it is most widely used for security purposes in crime prevention
thief are also using technologies → thieves are also using technology
they are now using different technologies for robbery with successfully → they are now successfully using different technologies for robbery
they using several sites for hacking and sick intention → they use various sites for hacking and malicious purposes
at the same time aware people that how they hack their stuffs and made offense → at the same time, people should be made aware of how their data can be hacked and misused
technology made a great impact → technology has made a great impact
also give the maximum safety → and also provides maximum safety
compare to decreasing crime these are very minor problems are technician are working on that → compared to its role in reducing crime, these are minor problems, and technicians are working to solve them
Sentence Structure
Technology development decreases offense which is believed by few individuals, whereas others believed that is mainly encourages crime → Some individuals believe that technological development decreases crime, whereas others think it mainly encourages criminal activity
On the other side, sometimes it bring some crime issues → On the other hand, sometimes it causes some crime-related issues
But it can be reduce by implementing some restrictions and rules, at the same time aware people that how they hack their stuffs and made offense → However, these can be reduced by implementing rules and restrictions, while also educating people on how to protect their data from hackers
Word Selection
offense → crime
believed by few individuals → believed by some individuals
advance system → advanced systems
merits and popularities → advantages and popularity
must needed → essential / necessary
sick intention → malicious intent
maximum safety → better safety / enhanced security
It is believed by some individuals that technological development reduce the criminal activity, while others have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime. I believe technology development mostly decrease crime because of the modern innovation have advance feathers which help to catch criminals within a short time, though it is sometimes cause some crimes.
In one side, technology is developing day by day allover the world because the engineers and scientists are making various type of product which have different feathers and the innovations have many advantages such as police can easily find something through the CCTV , if someone break the traffic rule or do any criminal activity like stole something then they can easily detect them and the stored data in the computer helps them to know about the person who did the crime, it helps them to investigate. The highly secure computers store every persons detail with address, family background and activity what they make. In North America police use the technology to find the criminal, last year the NA police find 93% criminal by using the technology.
On the other hand, most of the time the criminals use technology for steal someone’s data like they hack the device and steal everything from individuals computer, they can not do anything because the hackers use highly advance technology. The hackers hack the banks system and steal the money from bank.
To sum up, I believe technology make a huge impact to decrease the crime by using different types of highly tech devices and ensure the citizen that the their safe, but sometimes the technology is the main reason for crime.
reduce the criminal activity → reduces criminal activity
have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → have the opposite view, thinking that technology increases crime
technology development mostly decrease crime → technology development mostly decreases crime
modern innovation have advance feathers → modern innovations have advanced features
though it is sometimes cause some crimes → though it can sometimes cause crimes
In one side → On one hand
allover the world → all over the world
various type of product → various types of products
have different feathers → have different features
if someone break the traffic rule or do any criminal activity like stole something → if someone breaks traffic rules or commits a crime such as theft
the stored data in the computer helps them to know about the person who did the crime → stored data helps them identify the person who committed the crime
every persons detail → every person’s details
and activity what they make → and their activities
last year the NA police find 93% criminal by using the technology → last year, North American police caught 93% of criminals using technology
use technology for steal someone’s data → use technology to steal someone’s data
they can not do anything because the hackers use highly advance technology → people cannot do anything because hackers use highly advanced technology
The hackers hack the banks system and steal the money from bank → Hackers can also hack bank systems and steal money
make a huge impact to decrease the crime → makes a huge impact in decreasing crime
ensure the citizen that the their safe → ensure citizens that they are safe
but sometimes the technology is the main reason for crime → although sometimes technology is a main reason for crime
Sentence Structure
It is believed by some individuals that technological development reduce the criminal activity, while others have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → Some individuals believe that technological development reduces criminal activity, whereas others think it increases crime.
The highly secure computers store every persons detail with address, family background and activity what they make → Highly secure computers store every person’s details, including their address, family background, and activities.
On the other hand, most of the time the criminals use technology for steal someone’s data like they hack the device and steal everything from individuals computer → On the other hand, criminals often use technology to steal data by hacking devices and accessing individuals’ computers.
Word Selection
feathers → features
NA → North American
make a huge impact → has a significant impact
allover → all over
steal → commit theft / hack
Word Formation
reduce → reduces
decrease → decreases
break → breaks
stole → theft / steal
make → makes
Capitalization
In one side → On one hand
North America → North America (corrected in context)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases:
On one hand, technology is developing…
Separate long sentences with full stops or semicolons for clarity
It is often argued that advances technology is help reduce criminal activities, while others believe that these development create new opportunities for crime. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, modern technology has significantly stregnthend crime prevention systems. Surveillance cameras, biometric and identification and data tracking tools allow authorities to monitor public spaces more efficiency and catch offenders more quickly. It easier to for the police to identify and catch criminals. Similarly, digital tracking systems such as GPS, digital banking records and facial recognition software- make it extremely difficult for criminal to hide or escape. As a result, supporters argue that technology acts as a strong deterrent, reducing the likelihood remaining many traditional crimes such as theft, vandalism or physical assault.
on the other hand, critics claim that the same technology can actually encourages of facilities new forms of crime. As societies become more digitised, cyber crime can growth at an alarming rate. Because of technology the number of crime has increased such as cybersecurity violation, stealing and restriction. hackers can steal sensitive data, drain bank accounts, or manipulate online systems without ever being physically present. low enforcement agencies struggle to keep up with these rapidly involving digital threats, which makes cyber crime more difficult to control than conventional offences.
In my view, while technology has undeniably created new avenues for crime, its overall impact still leans towards reducing criminal behavior. However, government must invest heavily and cybersecurity crime and public awareness to ensure that criminals do not exploit technological gaps.
In conclusion, although technology has enabled certain new types of crime,
reduce the criminal activity → reduces criminal activity
have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → have the opposite view, thinking that technology increases crime
technology development mostly decrease crime → technology development mostly decreases crime
modern innovation have advance feathers → modern innovations have advanced features
though it is sometimes cause some crimes → though it can sometimes cause crimes
In one side → On one hand
the stored data in the computer helps them to know about the person who did the crime → stored data helps them identify the person who committed the crime
every persons detail → every person’s details
and activity what they make → and their activities
last year the NA police find 93% criminal by using the technology → last year, North American police caught 93% of criminals using technology
use technology for steal someone’s data → use technology to steal someone’s data
they can not do anything because the hackers use highly advance technology → people cannot do anything because hackers use highly advanced technology
The hackers hack the banks system and steal the money from bank → Hackers can also hack bank systems and steal money
make a huge impact to decrease the crime → makes a huge impact in decreasing crime
ensure the citizen that the their safe → ensure citizens that they are safe
but sometimes the technology is the main reason for crime → although sometimes technology is a main reason for crime
Sentence Structure
It is believed by some individuals that technological development reduce the criminal activity, while others have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → Some individuals believe that technological development reduces criminal activity, whereas others think it increases crime.
The highly secure computers store every persons detail with address, family background and activity what they make → Highly secure computers store every person’s details, including their address, family background, and activities.
On the other hand, most of the time the criminals use technology for steal someone’s data like they hack the device and steal everything from individuals computer → On the other hand, criminals often use technology to steal data by hacking devices and accessing individuals’ computers.
Word Selection
feathers → features
NA → North American
make a huge impact → has a significant impact
allover → all over
steal → commit theft / hack
Word Formation
reduce → reduces
decrease → decreases
break → breaks
stole → theft / steal
make → makes
Capitalization
In one side → On one hand
North America → North America (corrected in context)
Although it is believed by some individuals technology development drop crime, whereas others human believe it actually encourages crime. I believe that technology development decline crime because nowadays new innovation solving way to find out the criminals, but it had also downsides as well.
it is widely believed that some human think technology development decreases crime, At the present, almost every individuals use technology it gives us many opportunity to live smartly and peacefully, technology invent many think such as fingerprint machine which can help to find out the criminal, whereas police also find the criminal using by tracker, For example in japan they use modern technology to identify the criminal.
In addition, Some individuals believe it technology development actually encourages crime, technology growth also had a down side as well some robber use technology which is give them advantages, For example in India the thief hack many peoples Youtube channel, google account and facebook also they want money for recovery
technology development drop crime → technology development reduces crime
others human believe → while others believe
technology development decline crime → technology development decreases crime
nowadays new innovation solving way to find out the criminals → nowadays new innovations provide ways to catch criminals
it had also downsides as well → it also has some downsides
it is widely believed that some human think technology development decreases crime → some people widely believe that technological development decreases crime
almost every individuals use technology it gives us many opportunity → almost every individual uses technology, which gives us many opportunities
technology invent many think such as fingerprint machine → technology has invented many tools, such as fingerprint machines
police also find the criminal using by tracker → the police can also track criminals using trackers
Some individuals believe it technology development actually encourages crime → some individuals believe that technological development actually encourages crime
technology growth also had a down side as well → technological growth also has downsides
some robber use technology which is give them advantages → some robbers use technology, which gives them advantages
they want money for recovery → they demand money for recovery
Sentence Structure
Although it is believed by some individuals technology development drop crime, whereas others human believe it actually encourages crime → Although some people believe technological development reduces crime, others think it actually encourages criminal activity.
At the present, almost every individuals use technology it gives us many opportunity to live smartly and peacefully, technology invent many think such as fingerprint machine which can help to find out the criminal → At present, almost everyone uses technology, which provides opportunities to live more efficiently and safely. Technology has invented tools such as fingerprint machines, which help to identify criminals.
For example in Japan they use modern technology to identify the criminal → For example, in Japan, modern technology is used to identify criminals.
For example in India the thief hack many peoples Youtube channel, google account and facebook also they want money for recovery → For example, in India, thieves hack people’s YouTube, Google, and Facebook accounts and demand money for recovery.
Word Selection
drop → reduce
human → people
decline → decrease
solving way → provide ways
think → things / tools
robber → robbers
recovery → ransom / money
Word Formation
invent → has invented
encourages → encourage
growth → development
Capitalization
it → It (sentence start)
Some → some
Youtube → YouTube
google → Google
facebook → Facebook
Punctuation
Missing commas after introductory phrases:
“Although some people believe…”
“At present, almost everyone…”
Long sentences need separation:
“Technology has invented tools such as fingerprint machines, which help identify criminals.”
Avoid comma splices:
“India, thieves hack… and demand money for recovery.”
Although others people believe that technology development decreases crime , on the other hand people think it actually encourages crime. I believe that it can be helpful to reduce crime in some way .
Some people believe that the development of technology can be good for criminals for some reasons . The first reason is that it will become easier for criminals to commit a crime by using social media and others platforms . they can gain access to someone computer formalities
intentions. for example, they can make money by hijacking bank system.
On the other hand ,many people think that technology development helps to reduce crime in various way . firstly Modern CCTV cameras, face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminal. As result , people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced .
In conclusion, while I accept that improvements technology can be useful for criminals in some way, I believe that it also helps to reduce crime to society.
Although others people believe → Although some people believe
on the other hand people think it actually encourages crime → others think it actually encourages crime
it can be helpful to reduce crime in some way → it can help reduce crime in some ways
can be good for criminals for some reasons → can benefit criminals in some ways
they can gain access to someone computer formalities intentions → they can gain access to someone’s computer and sensitive information
by hijacking bank system → by hacking banking systems
helps to reduce crime in various way → helps reduce crime in various ways
identify and catch criminal → identify and catch criminals
As result , people are less likely → As a result, people are less likely
improvements technology can be useful → technological improvements can be useful
reduce crime to society → reduce crime in society
Sentence Structure
Although others people believe that technology development decreases crime , on the other hand people think it actually encourages crime → Although some people believe that technological development reduces crime, others think it actually encourages criminal activity.
The first reason is that it will become easier for criminals to commit a crime by using social media and others platforms → One reason is that technology makes it easier for criminals to commit crimes using social media and other platforms.
Firstly Modern CCTV cameras, face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminal → Firstly, modern CCTV cameras, facial recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminals.
In conclusion, while I accept that improvements technology can be useful for criminals in some way, I believe that it also helps to reduce crime to society → In conclusion, while I acknowledge that technological improvements can sometimes be exploited by criminals, I believe they also help reduce crime in society.
It is commonly believed that the improvement of technology is a way of reduce illegal activities, while other have opposite notion regarding this is technology development can increase the rate of crime. I firmly believed that it can be encouraged people to do any wrong things by using technology.
To commence with, using technology can help people to be aware about crime, they can assure their safety by use of cc tv or many other things. As a result, before they doing any illegal activity they will be afraid. For example, in Bangladesh, there is created a new software for girls who stay alone , in that the police give them a number if anyone follow them they can make a phone call also can share their location so the police immdiatlly come and reached them safely in home.
On the other hand, it is also a way of increasing crime by improve of technology. There are many devices are now updated that can thread the individuals by sharing their personal information such as hacking is a biggest crime nowadays. Therefore, too much available of technology can harm teenager most, for instance, many of teenager nowadays addicted by smart phone, they use many illegal porn sites easily, as a result the number of rap has increased.
To sum up, although improvement of technology has many drawbacks that it can give opportunity to do any illegal activities, it also have some advantages that it can help people to avoid crime because of development of technology.
a way of reduce illegal activities → a way to reduce illegal activities
other have opposite notion regarding this is technology development can increase the rate of crime → others have the opposite view, believing that technology development can increase crime
I firmly believed that it can be encouraged people to do any wrong things by using technology → I firmly believe that it can encourage people to commit illegal activities using technology
they can assure their safety by use of cc tv or many other things → they can ensure their safety by using CCTV and other tools
before they doing any illegal activity they will be afraid → before committing any illegal activity, they will be deterred
in that the police give them a number if anyone follow them they can make a phone call also can share their location so the police immdiatlly come and reached them safely in home → the police provide them with a contact number; if anyone follows them, they can call and share their location so the police can reach them safely at home
it is also a way of increasing crime by improve of technology → it can also increase crime due to technological improvements
There are many devices are now updated that can thread the individuals → Many updated devices can threaten individuals
sharing their personal information such as hacking is a biggest crime nowadays → by sharing personal information; for example, hacking is a major crime nowadays
too much available of technology → too much availability of technology
addicted by smart phone → addicted to smartphones
they use many illegal porn sites easily → they can easily access illegal pornography sites
as a result the number of rap has increased → as a result, the number of rapes has increased
it also have some advantages → it also has some advantages
Sentence Structure
It is commonly believed that the improvement of technology is a way of reduce illegal activities, while other have opposite notion regarding this is technology development can increase the rate of crime → It is commonly believed that technological improvements help reduce illegal activities, while others argue that technology development can increase crime rates.
For example, in Bangladesh, there is created a new software for girls who stay alone… → For example, in Bangladesh, a new software has been created for girls who are alone; it allows them to contact the police and share their location in case of danger.
On the other hand, it is also a way of increasing crime by improve of technology → On the other hand, technology can also facilitate crime.
To sum up, although improvement of technology has many drawbacks that it can give opportunity to do any illegal activities, it also have some advantages that it can help people to avoid crime because of development of technology → To sum up, although technological improvements can provide opportunities for illegal activities, they also have advantages, as they help people avoid crime.
it is believe by some individuals that technology development decline crime, while others people believe it actually encourage crime. I believe technology development decrease crime because nowadays technology invent many ways to find criminals. However, it has it downsides as well.
It is widely believed that some people think technology development decrease crime. At present, almost every peoples use technology. Technology gives us many opportunity to live peacefully. Technology invent many things such as finger print machine, eye scanner, which can help to identify the criminal and police can find the criminal by using track machine. In Bangladesh, for example they used to find criminal by using modern technology which can provide a country development and encourages peoples.
On the other hand, some peoples believe technology development actually encourages crime. technology development also has it down sides. Some thief use technology in their work. So that they can easily do their work. Moreover, some hackers hack peoples mobile phones by using technology which give them advantage. For example, one of my friends hack my cousins Facebook account and then charge money for recovery. Some people do not use technology wisely and do things like these.
In conclusion, while there are plus point to having modern technology. It can be helpful for every individuals to stay safe from the criminals and survive peacefully. Moreover, if anyone use it for crime that would be a bad thing for a country and country development. so we should use it carefully technology.
it is believe by some individuals → it is believed by some individuals
others people believe it actually encourage crime → others believe it actually encourages crime
technology development decrease crime → technology development decreases crime
Technology invent many things → Technology has invented many things
finger print machine → fingerprint scanner
which can help to identify the criminal → which can help identify criminals
police can find the criminal by using track machine → the police can track criminals using tracking devices
encourages peoples → encourages people
some peoples believe → some people believe
technology development also has it down sides → technology development also has its downsides
So that they can easily do their work → so they can commit crimes more easily
hack peoples mobile phones → hack people’s mobile phones
which give them advantage → which gives them an advantage
while there are plus point to having modern technology → while there are advantages to modern technology
for every individuals → for every individual
if anyone use it for crime → if anyone uses it for crime
so we should use it carefully technology → so we should use technology carefully
Sentence Structure
it is believe by some individuals that technology development decline crime, while others people believe it actually encourage crime → It is believed by some individuals that technological development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime.
At present, almost every peoples use technology → At present, almost everyone uses technology.
In Bangladesh, for example they used to find criminal by using modern technology which can provide a country development and encourages peoples → In Bangladesh, for example, authorities use modern technology to track criminals, which contributes to national development and public safety.
Some thief use technology in their work → Some thieves use technology for criminal activities.
Moreover, some hackers hack peoples mobile phones by using technology which give them advantage → Moreover, some hackers exploit technology to hack mobile phones, which gives them an advantage.
In conclusion, while there are plus point to having modern technology. It can be helpful for every individuals to stay safe from the criminals and survive peacefully → In conclusion, while modern technology has many advantages, it can help individuals stay safe from criminals and live peacefully.
Word Selection
decline → decreases
encourage → encourages
peoples → people
invent → has invented / creates
down sides → downsides
plus point → advantages
for every individuals → for every individual
Word Formation
opportunity → opportunities
use → uses
give → gives
Capitalization
technology → Technology (start of sentences)
Bangladesh → correct
so → So (start of sentence)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases:
“In Bangladesh, for example, authorities use…”
Remove periods breaking sentences unnecessarily:
“In conclusion, while there are plus point to having modern technology. It can be helpful…” → should be one sentence.
Although it is thought by some individuals that technology development reduces illegal activity, others have opposite viewpoint and according to them, crime is actually encouraged by it. In my point of views, the first notion is correct since technological advancements helps to detect the culprits easily.
The ratio of crime can definitely be declined through the use of scientific advancements. Nowadays, banks and other institutions take the advantage of technology to protect their privacy and other important information. As a result, public property and the security of personal data can be protected from culprits, who may want to posses those. Moreover, if the crime branch or police try to catch criminals, they can do it through tracking system. Many blackmailers and kidnappers ask for money from the victims. In this case, the executors can detect the locations of the criminals. To illustrates, according to a survey done in Bangladesh, the corruption level of the country has declined over the past 20 years because of huge development in the sector of technology.
However, the advancement of technology also increases the ratio of illegal activity since it makes the communication faster. Criminals can easily share details, so the crime they intend to commit is done smoothly. Often, the general people experience frauds through phone calls , they also lose their money as the fall into the traps. According to a study in The USA, the privacy of public security is threatened due to the increased technological development.
To conclude, illegal activities are done rapidly due to the easy use of technology, while it can be reduced to a great extent as scientific development provides convenient ways of catching the criminals and gives the advantages of pre-protection of privacy.
technological advancements helps → technological advancements help
public property and the security of personal data can be protected from culprits, who may want to posses those → public property and personal data can be protected from culprits who may want to possess them
To illustrates, according to a survey done in Bangladesh → To illustrate, according to a survey conducted in Bangladesh
Often, the general people experience frauds through phone calls , they also lose their money as the fall into the traps → Often, the general public experiences frauds through phone calls and loses money by falling into traps
gives the advantages of pre-protection of privacy → provides the advantage of preemptive protection of privacy
Sentence Structure
Although it is thought by some individuals that technology development reduces illegal activity, others have opposite viewpoint and according to them, crime is actually encouraged by it → Although some individuals believe that technological development reduces illegal activity, others hold the opposite view, claiming that it actually encourages crime.
The ratio of crime can definitely be declined through the use of scientific advancements → The crime rate can definitely be reduced through the use of technological advancements.
Nowadays, banks and other institutions take the advantage of technology → Nowadays, banks and other institutions take advantage of technology
Criminals can easily share details, so the crime they intend to commit is done smoothly → Criminals can easily share information, enabling them to commit crimes more efficiently
Word Selection
illegal activity → illegal activities / crimes
possess → possess (fix spelling)
executors → authorities / law enforcement
pre-protection → preemptive protection
ratio of crime → crime rate
Word Formation
helps → help
illustrates → illustrate
experience frauds → experience fraud
Capitalization
The USA → the USA
scientific development → Scientific development (if starting a sentence)
It is believed by some that technology improvement decreases crime, while there are others who think that it mainly encourages the people who joined with social crime .I think technology development reduce criminal activity because modern technology can catch the criminal with a short time.
Nowadays the technological invention are increased .Its makes our life easy . Many types of technology have in our society as like Mobile phone, computer which helps us to connect with people and friends, and by this invention we shared important information and data .Technology makes the whole world as a global village ,it creates globalization. By developing of technology we find CCTV footage that is so useful for us so that it keeps the any places footage in that memory and we will check it when we needed as a result if anyone do anything wrong here ,it will easily escape in CCTV .So it helps to decreased the crime .
On the other hand, according to some people think technology improve the crime. Technology has a good or bad effects , its depends on those people who choices the good one . The bad people choose the bad one and they will try to use it as a criminal perspective. The criminal has used the technology for hacking information , down the server and they can admit the negative virus into the device. Its makes worst situations in the general people life .
In conclusion , If all people be aware about using technology of course it will helpful to reduce crime.
technology development reduce criminal activity → technology development reduces criminal activity
modern technology can catch the criminal with a short time → modern technology can catch criminals in a short time
Its makes our life easy → It makes our life easier
Many types of technology have in our society as like Mobile phone, computer → Many types of technology exist in our society, such as mobile phones and computers
by this invention we shared important information and data → through these inventions, we can share important information and data
By developing of technology we find CCTV footage that is so useful for us so that it keeps the any places footage in that memory and we will check it when we needed → With technological developments, we can access CCTV footage, which is very useful as it records activities in any place and can be checked when needed
if anyone do anything wrong here ,it will easily escape in CCTV → if anyone does anything wrong, they cannot easily escape detection by CCTV
So it helps to decreased the crime → So it helps decrease crime
according to some people think technology improve the crime → according to some people, technology increases crime
Technology has a good or bad effects , its depends on those people who choices the good one → Technology can have good or bad effects; it depends on the choices of the people
The criminal has used the technology for hacking information , down the server and they can admit the negative virus into the device → Criminals use technology to hack information, take down servers, and introduce viruses into devices
Its makes worst situations in the general people life → This creates worse situations in the lives of ordinary people
If all people be aware about using technology of course it will helpful to reduce crime → If people are aware of how to use technology responsibly, it will certainly help reduce crime
Sentence Structure
It is believed by some that technology improvement decreases crime, while there are others who think that it mainly encourages the people who joined with social crime → It is believed by some that technological improvements decrease crime, while others think that it mainly encourages those involved in criminal activities
Nowadays the technological invention are increased → Nowadays, technological inventions are increasing
The bad people choose the bad one and they will try to use it as a criminal perspective → Criminals choose the negative aspects of technology and use them for illegal purposes
Word Selection
improvement → development / advancement
have in our society → exist in our society
joined with social crime → involved in criminal activities
makes worst situations → creates worse situations
helpful → helpful → helpful
Word Formation
decrease → decreases
do → does
choices → choose
Capitalization
Mobile phone → mobile phone
Technology → technology (when mid-sentence)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases: “On the other hand, according to some people…”
Some people argue that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others believe that it actually leads to more criminal activities. Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion.
On the one hand, many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security system. Modern CCTV cameras, face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminal. As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced. Additionally, online banking and digital payment systems reduce the need to carry cash, which lowers the chance of theft and robbery. Technology also enables quicker communication between low-enforcement agencies, allowing them to respond faster to crime.
On the other hand, some people believed technology encourages crime because it creates new opportunities for criminals. Cybercrime is one of the faster-growing areas today, including hacking, online fraud, identity theft, and scams. Criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers or mobile phones without even meeting them. Furthermore, social media can also be misused for bullying, blackmail, or spreading harmful content. In addition, advances technology such as encrypted messaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous groups.
In my opinion, technology itself is not the problem; it depends no how people use it. Although technology can be misused for criminal purposes, the benefits of modern security tools and digital systems are far greater. Therefore, I believe that whit proper laws and monitoring, technology can play a major role in reducing crime overall.
improves security system → improves security systems
identify and catch criminal → identify and catch criminals
lowers the chance of theft and robbery → lowers the chances of theft and robbery
low-enforcement agencies → law enforcement agencies
some people believed technology encourages crime → some people believe technology encourages crime
advances technology → advanced technology
it depends no how people use it → it depends on how people use it
whit proper laws → with proper laws
Sentence Structure
Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion → Both views will be discussed, and I will provide my own opinion
Criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers or mobile phones without even meeting them → Criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers or mobile phones without any physical contact
Word Selection
leads to more criminal activities → leads to more criminal activity
faster-growing areas → fast-growing areas
misused for criminal purposes → misused for illegal purposes
It is though by some people that time has decreased because of technology development , however other people think it actually increased crime. In my opinion, because of technology crime has increased.
On the one hand, technology made our life so much easier that it provides privacy but some people can not protect their personal information then crime increase. Although, many believe that technology development decreases crime that is not the case in this modern world , there is so many people who take advantage of technology to make money in a wrong way. Because of technology the number of crime has increased such as stalker, cybersecurity violation, stealing, bullying etc.
On the other hand, technology does decrease a decent amount of crime as an example people feel safe because of technology. If someone feel they are not safe they can call police in a minute through technology. Also not to mention there is bunch of benefits that technology provides such as it gives you a sense of protection. That is why technology development declined a few crimes but increased even more crime. Also the recent survey showed that the number of crimes has increased in this decades significantly by 50%, which is concerning. Anyone in the world can now easily get someone private information by internet, which encourages crime.
To sum up, technology did declined some crimes but it is encouraging even more, which is why the number of crime is increasing drastically around the world. Government should take some crucial steps to prevent crime.
Sentence Making
It is though by some people → It is thought by some people
other people think it actually increased crime → other people think it has actually increased crime
technology made our life so much easier → technology has made our lives much easier
some people can not protect their personal information then crime increase → some people cannot protect their personal information, and then crime increases
there is so many people → there are so many people
such as stalker, cybersecurity violation, stealing, bullying etc. → such as stalking, cybersecurity violations, stealing, bullying, etc.
technology does decrease a decent amount of crime → technology does decrease a certain amount of crime
If someone feel they are not safe → If someone feels they are not safe
Also not to mention there is bunch of benefits → Not to mention, there are a bunch of benefits
That is why technology development declined a few crimes but increased even more crime → That is why technological development has reduced some crimes but increased many others
recent survey showed that the number of crimes has increased in this decades → a recent survey showed that the number of crimes has increased in this decade
Anyone in the world can now easily get someone private information by internet → Anyone in the world can now easily access someone’s private information via the internet
technology did declined some crimes → technology has declined some crimes
it is encouraging even more → it is encouraging even more crime
number of crime is increasing drastically → number of crimes is increasing drastically
Sentence Structure
On the one hand, technology made our life so much easier that it provides privacy but some people can not protect their personal information then crime increase → On the one hand, technology has made our lives much easier by providing privacy; however, some people cannot protect their personal information, which leads to an increase in crime
Although, many believe that technology development decreases crime that is not the case in this modern world , there is so many people who take advantage of technology to make money in a wrong way → Although many believe that technological development decreases crime, that is not the case in the modern world, as many people take advantage of technology to make money illegally
Also not to mention there is bunch of benefits that technology provides such as it gives you a sense of protection → Moreover, technology provides many benefits, such as giving people a sense of protection
To sum up, technology did declined some crimes but it is encouraging even more, which is why the number of crime is increasing drastically around the world → To sum up, technology has reduced some crimes, but it is encouraging more crimes, which is why the number of crimes is increasing drastically worldwide
Word Selection
though → thought
life → lives
can not → cannot
increase → increases
so many people → many people
stalker → stalking
decent amount → certain amount
bunch of benefits → many benefits
did declined → has declined
number of crime → number of crimes
by internet → via the internet
encouraging → encouraging crime
Word Formation
crime → crimes
stalker → stalking
violation → violations
decades → decade
feel → feels
Capitalization
Government → Correct
Punctuation
life , there → life, there
world , there is → world, there are
benefits that technology provides such as it gives you → benefits that technology provides, such as giving you
Band : 5.5
In the era of high-tech technology people are mostly use it for development, where others remain optimistic that technological development can create offensive work. I believe that technology balanced both things but most of people are use it for minimal the offense.
The point that technological development create a safe future with so many futuristic gadgets. In this developed generation technology help with the benefits, people now use high tech cameras which look after the houses, important fields, offices for that the thief is not stole something in someone houses or offices. With that developed technology the internet are now more safe people can safe their website with the new developed functions and also the protected fire walls are most protective thing which safe most of the official web sites.
Conversely, there is strong belief that human conicity sometimes create bad impact on the world. Because of technological development some people use it for their personal benefits, they using for blackmailing, bank corruption, and also they demolish some of the important websites throw hacking them. With this smart technology some people encourage crimes in the whole world.
In my opinion, while the challenges are significant, technology offers powerful tools to mitigates the crimes. However, innovation make easier to catch the criminal with DNA matching, finger cells matching type high tech technology. With innovations its have pros and corns but now the progress of cyber security crimes are easily demolished.
In conclusion, both concerns about technological development decrease or increase crime are valid. The technological improvement not just increase crime, but also dominate with widespread implementation to high developed white hacking technology.
Sentence Making
people are mostly use it → people mostly use it
technological development can create offensive work → technological development can lead to harmful activities
most of people are use it → most people use it
minimal the offense → minimize offenses
The point that technological development create a safe future → Technological development creates a safer future
technology help with the benefits → technology provides many benefits
important fields → important areas
for that the thief is not stole something → so that thieves do not steal anything
the internet are now more safe → the internet is now safer
people can safe their website → people can secure their websites
fire walls are most protective thing → firewalls are the most protective tools
human conicity sometimes create bad impact → human curiosity or negligence sometimes creates a negative impact
they using for blackmailing, bank corruption → they use it for blackmailing and bank fraud
they demolish some of the important websites throw hacking them → they hack and destroy important websites
technology offers powerful tools to mitigates the crimes → technology offers powerful tools to mitigate crimes
innovation make easier to catch the criminal → innovation makes it easier to catch criminals
finger cells matching type high tech technology → fingerprint-matching high-tech systems
its have pros and corns → it has pros and cons
cyber security crimes are easily demolished → cybersecurity crimes can be prevented more effectively
the technological improvement not just increase crime → technological improvements do not just increase crime
dominate with widespread implementation to high developed white hacking technology → help combat crime through widespread use of advanced ethical hacking technology
Sentence Structure
In the era of high-tech technology people are mostly use it for development, where others remain optimistic that technological development can create offensive work → In the era of high-tech development, people mostly use technology for productive purposes, although some remain concerned that it can be misused
With that developed technology the internet are now more safe people can safe their website with the new developed functions and also the protected fire walls are most protective thing which safe most of the official web sites → With the development of technology, the internet is now safer; people can secure their websites using new functions, and protected firewalls safeguard most official sites
With innovations its have pros and corns but now the progress of cyber security crimes are easily demolished → Innovations have both pros and cons, but progress in cybersecurity allows many crimes to be prevented more effectively
Word Selection
use it for development → use it for development purposes
offensive work → harmful activities / crimes
minimal the offense → minimize offenses
look after the houses → monitor houses
demolish → destroy / hack
mitigates → mitigate
finger cells → fingerprints
corns → cons
high developed → highly developed
white hacking → ethical hacking
Word Formation
create → creates
help → helps / provides
using → use
its → it has
increase → increases
Capitalization
None major, but “DNA” is correct
Punctuation
commas needed after introductory phrases:
In the era of high-tech technology, people mostly use it…
In this developed generation, technology helps…
multiple clauses need proper separation with semicolons or full stop
Band : 5.5
some people argue that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others believe that it actually leads to more criminal activities . Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion .
On the one hand , many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security system .Modern CCTV cameras , face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminals . As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced . additionally , online banking , and digital payment systems reduced the need to carry cash , which lowers the chances of theft and robber.
On the other hand , some people believe technology encourages crime because it creates ne opportunities for criminal . criminal can steal personal information from peoples computers and mobile phones without even meeting them . furthermore , social media can also be misused for bulling , blackmailing , or spreading harmful content . In addition , advanced technology such as encypted ,massaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous group .
In my opinion , technology itself its not the problem . It depends on hoe people use it . therefor i believe that with proper lows and monitoring , technology can play a major role in reducing crime overall .
Sentence Making
helps to reduce crime → helps reduce crime
leads to more criminal activities → leads to more criminal activity
Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion → Both views will be discussed before I give my own opinion
it improves security system → it improves security systems
online banking , and digital payment systems reduced → online banking and digital payment systems reduce
ne opportunities for criminal → new opportunities for criminals
criminal can steal personal information from peoples computers → criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers
bulling , blackmailing → bullying, blackmailing
encypted ,massaging → encrypted messaging
technology itself its not the problem → technology itself is not the problem
hoe people use it → how people use it
therefor i believe → therefore, I believe
proper lows → proper laws
Sentence Structure
On the one hand , many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security system → On the one hand, many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security systems
As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced → As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes if they know they are being watched or can be traced
In addition , advanced technology such as encypted ,massaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous group → In addition, advanced technology such as encrypted messaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous groups
Word Selection
ne → new
criminal → criminals
peoples → people’s
encypted ,massaging → encrypted messaging
lows → laws
bulling → bullying
Word Formation
reduces → reduce
its → is
leads → lead
Capitalization
therefor i believe → Therefore, I believe
On the one hand , → On the one hand,
additionally , → Additionally,
In my opinion , → In my opinion,
Punctuation
spaces before commas → remove
e.g., “On the one hand ,” → “On the one hand,”
add commas after introductory phrases
“Additionally, online banking…
Band : 6.0
Technology development decreases offense which is believed by few individuals, whereas others believed that is mainly encourages crime. I believe technology development mostly decrease crime because it comes with advance system and that helps to reduce crime rate, although sometimes crimes happens by it for many reasons.
In one side, technology is growing day by day because of its merits and popularities, it has many qualities such as it makes our life easier. Besides this also help to reduce crime rate by creating security system for instance in bank account it provides high tech privacy which is must needed thing for money safety. Moreover, technology is in every sector for different purpose but in crime people using is most, for example making CCTV cameras for security to notice crime and identifying also, one research proved that in every sector individuals using highly technologies for safety purpose.
On the other side, sometimes it bring some crime issues, thief are also using technologies for wrong purpose, for instance they are now using different technologies for robbery with successfully. Also they using several sites for hacking and sick intention and individuals are unable to stop them because they are also using advance technology for crime. But it can be reduce by implementing some restrictions and rules, at the same time aware people that how they hack their stuffs and made offense.
To conclude, technology made a great impact on reducing crimes by including different systems and also give the maximum safety for individuals. However, sometimes it comes with crime by helping bad people with providing tech and wrong devices but compare to decreasing crime these are very minor problems are technician are working on that.
Sentence Making
Technology development decreases offense which is believed by few individuals → Some individuals believe that technological development decreases crime
whereas others believed that is mainly encourages crime → whereas others believe that it mainly encourages crime
sometimes crimes happens by it for many reasons → sometimes crimes happen because of it for various reasons
In one side → On one hand
besides this also help to reduce crime rate → besides this, it also helps to reduce the crime rate
it provides high tech privacy which is must needed thing for money safety → it provides high-tech privacy, which is essential for protecting money
technology is in every sector for different purpose → technology is present in every sector for different purposes
in crime people using is most → it is most widely used for security purposes in crime prevention
thief are also using technologies → thieves are also using technology
they are now using different technologies for robbery with successfully → they are now successfully using different technologies for robbery
they using several sites for hacking and sick intention → they use various sites for hacking and malicious purposes
at the same time aware people that how they hack their stuffs and made offense → at the same time, people should be made aware of how their data can be hacked and misused
technology made a great impact → technology has made a great impact
also give the maximum safety → and also provides maximum safety
compare to decreasing crime these are very minor problems are technician are working on that → compared to its role in reducing crime, these are minor problems, and technicians are working to solve them
Sentence Structure
Technology development decreases offense which is believed by few individuals, whereas others believed that is mainly encourages crime → Some individuals believe that technological development decreases crime, whereas others think it mainly encourages criminal activity
On the other side, sometimes it bring some crime issues → On the other hand, sometimes it causes some crime-related issues
But it can be reduce by implementing some restrictions and rules, at the same time aware people that how they hack their stuffs and made offense → However, these can be reduced by implementing rules and restrictions, while also educating people on how to protect their data from hackers
Word Selection
offense → crime
believed by few individuals → believed by some individuals
advance system → advanced systems
merits and popularities → advantages and popularity
must needed → essential / necessary
sick intention → malicious intent
maximum safety → better safety / enhanced security
Word Formation
happens → happen
help → helps
using → use
bring → brings
reduce → be reduced
Capitalization
On one side → On one hand
To conclude → To conclude,
At the same time → At the same time,
Punctuation
missing commas after introductory phrases:
“On one hand, technology is growing…”
“On the other hand, sometimes it causes…”
some long sentences need separation for clarity
Band score : 5.5
It is believed by some individuals that technological development reduce the criminal activity, while others have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime. I believe technology development mostly decrease crime because of the modern innovation have advance feathers which help to catch criminals within a short time, though it is sometimes cause some crimes.
In one side, technology is developing day by day allover the world because the engineers and scientists are making various type of product which have different feathers and the innovations have many advantages such as police can easily find something through the CCTV , if someone break the traffic rule or do any criminal activity like stole something then they can easily detect them and the stored data in the computer helps them to know about the person who did the crime, it helps them to investigate. The highly secure computers store every persons detail with address, family background and activity what they make. In North America police use the technology to find the criminal, last year the NA police find 93% criminal by using the technology.
On the other hand, most of the time the criminals use technology for steal someone’s data like they hack the device and steal everything from individuals computer, they can not do anything because the hackers use highly advance technology. The hackers hack the banks system and steal the money from bank.
To sum up, I believe technology make a huge impact to decrease the crime by using different types of highly tech devices and ensure the citizen that the their safe, but sometimes the technology is the main reason for crime.
Sentence Making
reduce the criminal activity → reduces criminal activity
have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → have the opposite view, thinking that technology increases crime
technology development mostly decrease crime → technology development mostly decreases crime
modern innovation have advance feathers → modern innovations have advanced features
though it is sometimes cause some crimes → though it can sometimes cause crimes
In one side → On one hand
allover the world → all over the world
various type of product → various types of products
have different feathers → have different features
if someone break the traffic rule or do any criminal activity like stole something → if someone breaks traffic rules or commits a crime such as theft
the stored data in the computer helps them to know about the person who did the crime → stored data helps them identify the person who committed the crime
every persons detail → every person’s details
and activity what they make → and their activities
last year the NA police find 93% criminal by using the technology → last year, North American police caught 93% of criminals using technology
use technology for steal someone’s data → use technology to steal someone’s data
they can not do anything because the hackers use highly advance technology → people cannot do anything because hackers use highly advanced technology
The hackers hack the banks system and steal the money from bank → Hackers can also hack bank systems and steal money
make a huge impact to decrease the crime → makes a huge impact in decreasing crime
ensure the citizen that the their safe → ensure citizens that they are safe
but sometimes the technology is the main reason for crime → although sometimes technology is a main reason for crime
Sentence Structure
It is believed by some individuals that technological development reduce the criminal activity, while others have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → Some individuals believe that technological development reduces criminal activity, whereas others think it increases crime.
The highly secure computers store every persons detail with address, family background and activity what they make → Highly secure computers store every person’s details, including their address, family background, and activities.
On the other hand, most of the time the criminals use technology for steal someone’s data like they hack the device and steal everything from individuals computer → On the other hand, criminals often use technology to steal data by hacking devices and accessing individuals’ computers.
Word Selection
feathers → features
NA → North American
make a huge impact → has a significant impact
allover → all over
steal → commit theft / hack
Word Formation
reduce → reduces
decrease → decreases
break → breaks
stole → theft / steal
make → makes
Capitalization
In one side → On one hand
North America → North America (corrected in context)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases:
On one hand, technology is developing…
Separate long sentences with full stops or semicolons for clarity
Band : 5.5
It is often argued that advances technology is help reduce criminal activities, while others believe that these development create new opportunities for crime. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, modern technology has significantly stregnthend crime prevention systems. Surveillance cameras, biometric and identification and data tracking tools allow authorities to monitor public spaces more efficiency and catch offenders more quickly. It easier to for the police to identify and catch criminals. Similarly, digital tracking systems such as GPS, digital banking records and facial recognition software- make it extremely difficult for criminal to hide or escape. As a result, supporters argue that technology acts as a strong deterrent, reducing the likelihood remaining many traditional crimes such as theft, vandalism or physical assault.
on the other hand, critics claim that the same technology can actually encourages of facilities new forms of crime. As societies become more digitised, cyber crime can growth at an alarming rate. Because of technology the number of crime has increased such as cybersecurity violation, stealing and restriction. hackers can steal sensitive data, drain bank accounts, or manipulate online systems without ever being physically present. low enforcement agencies struggle to keep up with these rapidly involving digital threats, which makes cyber crime more difficult to control than conventional offences.
In my view, while technology has undeniably created new avenues for crime, its overall impact still leans towards reducing criminal behavior. However, government must invest heavily and cybersecurity crime and public awareness to ensure that criminals do not exploit technological gaps.
In conclusion, although technology has enabled certain new types of crime,
Sentence Making
reduce the criminal activity → reduces criminal activity
have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → have the opposite view, thinking that technology increases crime
technology development mostly decrease crime → technology development mostly decreases crime
modern innovation have advance feathers → modern innovations have advanced features
though it is sometimes cause some crimes → though it can sometimes cause crimes
In one side → On one hand
the stored data in the computer helps them to know about the person who did the crime → stored data helps them identify the person who committed the crime
every persons detail → every person’s details
and activity what they make → and their activities
last year the NA police find 93% criminal by using the technology → last year, North American police caught 93% of criminals using technology
use technology for steal someone’s data → use technology to steal someone’s data
they can not do anything because the hackers use highly advance technology → people cannot do anything because hackers use highly advanced technology
The hackers hack the banks system and steal the money from bank → Hackers can also hack bank systems and steal money
make a huge impact to decrease the crime → makes a huge impact in decreasing crime
ensure the citizen that the their safe → ensure citizens that they are safe
but sometimes the technology is the main reason for crime → although sometimes technology is a main reason for crime
Sentence Structure
It is believed by some individuals that technological development reduce the criminal activity, while others have opposite notion which is they think technology improves crime → Some individuals believe that technological development reduces criminal activity, whereas others think it increases crime.
The highly secure computers store every persons detail with address, family background and activity what they make → Highly secure computers store every person’s details, including their address, family background, and activities.
On the other hand, most of the time the criminals use technology for steal someone’s data like they hack the device and steal everything from individuals computer → On the other hand, criminals often use technology to steal data by hacking devices and accessing individuals’ computers.
Word Selection
feathers → features
NA → North American
make a huge impact → has a significant impact
allover → all over
steal → commit theft / hack
Word Formation
reduce → reduces
decrease → decreases
break → breaks
stole → theft / steal
make → makes
Capitalization
In one side → On one hand
North America → North America (corrected in context)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases:
On one hand, technology is developing…
Band : 5.5
Although it is believed by some individuals technology development drop crime, whereas others human believe it actually encourages crime. I believe that technology development decline crime because nowadays new innovation solving way to find out the criminals, but it had also downsides as well.
it is widely believed that some human think technology development decreases crime, At the present, almost every individuals use technology it gives us many opportunity to live smartly and peacefully, technology invent many think such as fingerprint machine which can help to find out the criminal, whereas police also find the criminal using by tracker, For example in japan they use modern technology to identify the criminal.
In addition, Some individuals believe it technology development actually encourages crime, technology growth also had a down side as well some robber use technology which is give them advantages, For example in India the thief hack many peoples Youtube channel, google account and facebook also they want money for recovery
Sentence Making
technology development drop crime → technology development reduces crime
others human believe → while others believe
technology development decline crime → technology development decreases crime
nowadays new innovation solving way to find out the criminals → nowadays new innovations provide ways to catch criminals
it had also downsides as well → it also has some downsides
it is widely believed that some human think technology development decreases crime → some people widely believe that technological development decreases crime
almost every individuals use technology it gives us many opportunity → almost every individual uses technology, which gives us many opportunities
technology invent many think such as fingerprint machine → technology has invented many tools, such as fingerprint machines
police also find the criminal using by tracker → the police can also track criminals using trackers
Some individuals believe it technology development actually encourages crime → some individuals believe that technological development actually encourages crime
technology growth also had a down side as well → technological growth also has downsides
some robber use technology which is give them advantages → some robbers use technology, which gives them advantages
they want money for recovery → they demand money for recovery
Sentence Structure
Although it is believed by some individuals technology development drop crime, whereas others human believe it actually encourages crime → Although some people believe technological development reduces crime, others think it actually encourages criminal activity.
At the present, almost every individuals use technology it gives us many opportunity to live smartly and peacefully, technology invent many think such as fingerprint machine which can help to find out the criminal → At present, almost everyone uses technology, which provides opportunities to live more efficiently and safely. Technology has invented tools such as fingerprint machines, which help to identify criminals.
For example in Japan they use modern technology to identify the criminal → For example, in Japan, modern technology is used to identify criminals.
For example in India the thief hack many peoples Youtube channel, google account and facebook also they want money for recovery → For example, in India, thieves hack people’s YouTube, Google, and Facebook accounts and demand money for recovery.
Word Selection
drop → reduce
human → people
decline → decrease
solving way → provide ways
think → things / tools
robber → robbers
recovery → ransom / money
Word Formation
invent → has invented
encourages → encourage
growth → development
Capitalization
it → It (sentence start)
Some → some
Youtube → YouTube
google → Google
facebook → Facebook
Punctuation
Missing commas after introductory phrases:
“Although some people believe…”
“At present, almost everyone…”
Long sentences need separation:
“Technology has invented tools such as fingerprint machines, which help identify criminals.”
Avoid comma splices:
“India, thieves hack… and demand money for recovery.”
Band : 5.0
Although others people believe that technology development decreases crime , on the other hand people think it actually encourages crime. I believe that it can be helpful to reduce crime in some way .
Some people believe that the development of technology can be good for criminals for some reasons . The first reason is that it will become easier for criminals to commit a crime by using social media and others platforms . they can gain access to someone computer formalities
intentions. for example, they can make money by hijacking bank system.
On the other hand ,many people think that technology development helps to reduce crime in various way . firstly Modern CCTV cameras, face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminal. As result , people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced .
In conclusion, while I accept that improvements technology can be useful for criminals in some way, I believe that it also helps to reduce crime to society.
Sentence Making
Although others people believe → Although some people believe
on the other hand people think it actually encourages crime → others think it actually encourages crime
it can be helpful to reduce crime in some way → it can help reduce crime in some ways
can be good for criminals for some reasons → can benefit criminals in some ways
they can gain access to someone computer formalities intentions → they can gain access to someone’s computer and sensitive information
by hijacking bank system → by hacking banking systems
helps to reduce crime in various way → helps reduce crime in various ways
identify and catch criminal → identify and catch criminals
As result , people are less likely → As a result, people are less likely
improvements technology can be useful → technological improvements can be useful
reduce crime to society → reduce crime in society
Sentence Structure
Although others people believe that technology development decreases crime , on the other hand people think it actually encourages crime → Although some people believe that technological development reduces crime, others think it actually encourages criminal activity.
The first reason is that it will become easier for criminals to commit a crime by using social media and others platforms → One reason is that technology makes it easier for criminals to commit crimes using social media and other platforms.
Firstly Modern CCTV cameras, face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminal → Firstly, modern CCTV cameras, facial recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminals.
In conclusion, while I accept that improvements technology can be useful for criminals in some way, I believe that it also helps to reduce crime to society → In conclusion, while I acknowledge that technological improvements can sometimes be exploited by criminals, I believe they also help reduce crime in society.
Word Selection
others people → some people
formalities intentions → sensitive information
hijacking → hacking
improvements technology → technological improvements
in some way → in some ways
to society → in society
Word Formation
decreases → decrease
can be helpful → can help
criminal → criminals
way → ways
Capitalization
Modern → modern
CCTV → correct
As → as (in “As result,”)
Punctuation
Missing commas:
“Although some people believe…”
“Firstly, modern CCTV cameras…”
“As a result, people are less likely…”
Periods needed after incomplete or run-on sentences:
“they can gain access to someone’s computer and sensitive information.”
Band : 4.5
It is commonly believed that the improvement of technology is a way of reduce illegal activities, while other have opposite notion regarding this is technology development can increase the rate of crime. I firmly believed that it can be encouraged people to do any wrong things by using technology.
To commence with, using technology can help people to be aware about crime, they can assure their safety by use of cc tv or many other things. As a result, before they doing any illegal activity they will be afraid. For example, in Bangladesh, there is created a new software for girls who stay alone , in that the police give them a number if anyone follow them they can make a phone call also can share their location so the police immdiatlly come and reached them safely in home.
On the other hand, it is also a way of increasing crime by improve of technology. There are many devices are now updated that can thread the individuals by sharing their personal information such as hacking is a biggest crime nowadays. Therefore, too much available of technology can harm teenager most, for instance, many of teenager nowadays addicted by smart phone, they use many illegal porn sites easily, as a result the number of rap has increased.
To sum up, although improvement of technology has many drawbacks that it can give opportunity to do any illegal activities, it also have some advantages that it can help people to avoid crime because of development of technology.
Sentence Making
a way of reduce illegal activities → a way to reduce illegal activities
other have opposite notion regarding this is technology development can increase the rate of crime → others have the opposite view, believing that technology development can increase crime
I firmly believed that it can be encouraged people to do any wrong things by using technology → I firmly believe that it can encourage people to commit illegal activities using technology
they can assure their safety by use of cc tv or many other things → they can ensure their safety by using CCTV and other tools
before they doing any illegal activity they will be afraid → before committing any illegal activity, they will be deterred
in that the police give them a number if anyone follow them they can make a phone call also can share their location so the police immdiatlly come and reached them safely in home → the police provide them with a contact number; if anyone follows them, they can call and share their location so the police can reach them safely at home
it is also a way of increasing crime by improve of technology → it can also increase crime due to technological improvements
There are many devices are now updated that can thread the individuals → Many updated devices can threaten individuals
sharing their personal information such as hacking is a biggest crime nowadays → by sharing personal information; for example, hacking is a major crime nowadays
too much available of technology → too much availability of technology
addicted by smart phone → addicted to smartphones
they use many illegal porn sites easily → they can easily access illegal pornography sites
as a result the number of rap has increased → as a result, the number of rapes has increased
it also have some advantages → it also has some advantages
Sentence Structure
It is commonly believed that the improvement of technology is a way of reduce illegal activities, while other have opposite notion regarding this is technology development can increase the rate of crime → It is commonly believed that technological improvements help reduce illegal activities, while others argue that technology development can increase crime rates.
For example, in Bangladesh, there is created a new software for girls who stay alone… → For example, in Bangladesh, a new software has been created for girls who are alone; it allows them to contact the police and share their location in case of danger.
On the other hand, it is also a way of increasing crime by improve of technology → On the other hand, technology can also facilitate crime.
To sum up, although improvement of technology has many drawbacks that it can give opportunity to do any illegal activities, it also have some advantages that it can help people to avoid crime because of development of technology → To sum up, although technological improvements can provide opportunities for illegal activities, they also have advantages, as they help people avoid crime.
Word Selection
reduce → to reduce
encouraged → encourage
cc tv → CCTV
thread → threaten
biggest → major
addicted by → addicted to
Word Formation
have → has
improve → improvement
doing → committing
Capitalization
cc tv → CCTV
Bangladesh → correct
On the other hand → correct
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases:
“To commence with, using technology…”
“On the other hand, it can also…”
Band : 5.5
it is believe by some individuals that technology development decline crime, while others people believe it actually encourage crime. I believe technology development decrease crime because nowadays technology invent many ways to find criminals. However, it has it downsides as well.
It is widely believed that some people think technology development decrease crime. At present, almost every peoples use technology. Technology gives us many opportunity to live peacefully. Technology invent many things such as finger print machine, eye scanner, which can help to identify the criminal and police can find the criminal by using track machine. In Bangladesh, for example they used to find criminal by using modern technology which can provide a country development and encourages peoples.
On the other hand, some peoples believe technology development actually encourages crime. technology development also has it down sides. Some thief use technology in their work. So that they can easily do their work. Moreover, some hackers hack peoples mobile phones by using technology which give them advantage. For example, one of my friends hack my cousins Facebook account and then charge money for recovery. Some people do not use technology wisely and do things like these.
In conclusion, while there are plus point to having modern technology. It can be helpful for every individuals to stay safe from the criminals and survive peacefully. Moreover, if anyone use it for crime that would be a bad thing for a country and country development. so we should use it carefully technology.
Sentence Making
it is believe by some individuals → it is believed by some individuals
others people believe it actually encourage crime → others believe it actually encourages crime
technology development decrease crime → technology development decreases crime
Technology invent many things → Technology has invented many things
finger print machine → fingerprint scanner
which can help to identify the criminal → which can help identify criminals
police can find the criminal by using track machine → the police can track criminals using tracking devices
encourages peoples → encourages people
some peoples believe → some people believe
technology development also has it down sides → technology development also has its downsides
So that they can easily do their work → so they can commit crimes more easily
hack peoples mobile phones → hack people’s mobile phones
which give them advantage → which gives them an advantage
while there are plus point to having modern technology → while there are advantages to modern technology
for every individuals → for every individual
if anyone use it for crime → if anyone uses it for crime
so we should use it carefully technology → so we should use technology carefully
Sentence Structure
it is believe by some individuals that technology development decline crime, while others people believe it actually encourage crime → It is believed by some individuals that technological development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime.
At present, almost every peoples use technology → At present, almost everyone uses technology.
In Bangladesh, for example they used to find criminal by using modern technology which can provide a country development and encourages peoples → In Bangladesh, for example, authorities use modern technology to track criminals, which contributes to national development and public safety.
Some thief use technology in their work → Some thieves use technology for criminal activities.
Moreover, some hackers hack peoples mobile phones by using technology which give them advantage → Moreover, some hackers exploit technology to hack mobile phones, which gives them an advantage.
In conclusion, while there are plus point to having modern technology. It can be helpful for every individuals to stay safe from the criminals and survive peacefully → In conclusion, while modern technology has many advantages, it can help individuals stay safe from criminals and live peacefully.
Word Selection
decline → decreases
encourage → encourages
peoples → people
invent → has invented / creates
down sides → downsides
plus point → advantages
for every individuals → for every individual
Word Formation
opportunity → opportunities
use → uses
give → gives
Capitalization
technology → Technology (start of sentences)
Bangladesh → correct
so → So (start of sentence)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases:
“In Bangladesh, for example, authorities use…”
Remove periods breaking sentences unnecessarily:
“In conclusion, while there are plus point to having modern technology. It can be helpful…” → should be one sentence.
Fix spacing before punctuation.
Band : 6.0
Although it is thought by some individuals that technology development reduces illegal activity, others have opposite viewpoint and according to them, crime is actually encouraged by it. In my point of views, the first notion is correct since technological advancements helps to detect the culprits easily.
The ratio of crime can definitely be declined through the use of scientific advancements. Nowadays, banks and other institutions take the advantage of technology to protect their privacy and other important information. As a result, public property and the security of personal data can be protected from culprits, who may want to posses those. Moreover, if the crime branch or police try to catch criminals, they can do it through tracking system. Many blackmailers and kidnappers ask for money from the victims. In this case, the executors can detect the locations of the criminals. To illustrates, according to a survey done in Bangladesh, the corruption level of the country has declined over the past 20 years because of huge development in the sector of technology.
However, the advancement of technology also increases the ratio of illegal activity since it makes the communication faster. Criminals can easily share details, so the crime they intend to commit is done smoothly. Often, the general people experience frauds through phone calls , they also lose their money as the fall into the traps. According to a study in The USA, the privacy of public security is threatened due to the increased technological development.
To conclude, illegal activities are done rapidly due to the easy use of technology, while it can be reduced to a great extent as scientific development provides convenient ways of catching the criminals and gives the advantages of pre-protection of privacy.
Sentence Making
in my point of views → in my point of view
technological advancements helps → technological advancements help
public property and the security of personal data can be protected from culprits, who may want to posses those → public property and personal data can be protected from culprits who may want to possess them
To illustrates, according to a survey done in Bangladesh → To illustrate, according to a survey conducted in Bangladesh
Often, the general people experience frauds through phone calls , they also lose their money as the fall into the traps → Often, the general public experiences frauds through phone calls and loses money by falling into traps
gives the advantages of pre-protection of privacy → provides the advantage of preemptive protection of privacy
Sentence Structure
Although it is thought by some individuals that technology development reduces illegal activity, others have opposite viewpoint and according to them, crime is actually encouraged by it → Although some individuals believe that technological development reduces illegal activity, others hold the opposite view, claiming that it actually encourages crime.
The ratio of crime can definitely be declined through the use of scientific advancements → The crime rate can definitely be reduced through the use of technological advancements.
Nowadays, banks and other institutions take the advantage of technology → Nowadays, banks and other institutions take advantage of technology
Criminals can easily share details, so the crime they intend to commit is done smoothly → Criminals can easily share information, enabling them to commit crimes more efficiently
Word Selection
illegal activity → illegal activities / crimes
possess → possess (fix spelling)
executors → authorities / law enforcement
pre-protection → preemptive protection
ratio of crime → crime rate
Word Formation
helps → help
illustrates → illustrate
experience frauds → experience fraud
Capitalization
The USA → the USA
scientific development → Scientific development (if starting a sentence)
Punctuation
Remove unnecessary spaces before commas: “phone calls , they” → “phone calls, they”
Use commas to separate clauses properly: “Although some individuals believe…, others hold the opposite view…”
Minor adjustments in long sentences for clarity
Band score : 6.0
It is believed by some that technology improvement decreases crime, while there are others who think that it mainly encourages the people who joined with social crime .I think technology development reduce criminal activity because modern technology can catch the criminal with a short time.
Nowadays the technological invention are increased .Its makes our life easy . Many types of technology have in our society as like Mobile phone, computer which helps us to connect with people and friends, and by this invention we shared important information and data .Technology makes the whole world as a global village ,it creates globalization. By developing of technology we find CCTV footage that is so useful for us so that it keeps the any places footage in that memory and we will check it when we needed as a result if anyone do anything wrong here ,it will easily escape in CCTV .So it helps to decreased the crime .
On the other hand, according to some people think technology improve the crime. Technology has a good or bad effects , its depends on those people who choices the good one . The bad people choose the bad one and they will try to use it as a criminal perspective. The criminal has used the technology for hacking information , down the server and they can admit the negative virus into the device. Its makes worst situations in the general people life .
In conclusion , If all people be aware about using technology of course it will helpful to reduce crime.
Sentence Making
technology development reduce criminal activity → technology development reduces criminal activity
modern technology can catch the criminal with a short time → modern technology can catch criminals in a short time
Its makes our life easy → It makes our life easier
Many types of technology have in our society as like Mobile phone, computer → Many types of technology exist in our society, such as mobile phones and computers
by this invention we shared important information and data → through these inventions, we can share important information and data
By developing of technology we find CCTV footage that is so useful for us so that it keeps the any places footage in that memory and we will check it when we needed → With technological developments, we can access CCTV footage, which is very useful as it records activities in any place and can be checked when needed
if anyone do anything wrong here ,it will easily escape in CCTV → if anyone does anything wrong, they cannot easily escape detection by CCTV
So it helps to decreased the crime → So it helps decrease crime
according to some people think technology improve the crime → according to some people, technology increases crime
Technology has a good or bad effects , its depends on those people who choices the good one → Technology can have good or bad effects; it depends on the choices of the people
The criminal has used the technology for hacking information , down the server and they can admit the negative virus into the device → Criminals use technology to hack information, take down servers, and introduce viruses into devices
Its makes worst situations in the general people life → This creates worse situations in the lives of ordinary people
If all people be aware about using technology of course it will helpful to reduce crime → If people are aware of how to use technology responsibly, it will certainly help reduce crime
Sentence Structure
It is believed by some that technology improvement decreases crime, while there are others who think that it mainly encourages the people who joined with social crime → It is believed by some that technological improvements decrease crime, while others think that it mainly encourages those involved in criminal activities
Nowadays the technological invention are increased → Nowadays, technological inventions are increasing
The bad people choose the bad one and they will try to use it as a criminal perspective → Criminals choose the negative aspects of technology and use them for illegal purposes
Word Selection
improvement → development / advancement
have in our society → exist in our society
joined with social crime → involved in criminal activities
makes worst situations → creates worse situations
helpful → helpful → helpful
Word Formation
decrease → decreases
do → does
choices → choose
Capitalization
Mobile phone → mobile phone
Technology → technology (when mid-sentence)
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases: “On the other hand, according to some people…”
Fix spacing: “wrong here ,it” → “wrong here, it”
Remove unnecessary spaces before commas
Band Score : 5.5
Some people argue that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others believe that it actually leads to more criminal activities. Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion.
On the one hand, many people think technology decreases crime because it improves security system. Modern CCTV cameras, face recognition software, and smartphone tracking make it easier for the police to identify and catch criminal. As a result, people are less likely to commit crimes when they know they can be watched or traced. Additionally, online banking and digital payment systems reduce the need to carry cash, which lowers the chance of theft and robbery. Technology also enables quicker communication between low-enforcement agencies, allowing them to respond faster to crime.
On the other hand, some people believed technology encourages crime because it creates new opportunities for criminals. Cybercrime is one of the faster-growing areas today, including hacking, online fraud, identity theft, and scams. Criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers or mobile phones without even meeting them. Furthermore, social media can also be misused for bullying, blackmail, or spreading harmful content. In addition, advances technology such as encrypted messaging makes it harder for authorities to track the activities of dangerous groups.
In my opinion, technology itself is not the problem; it depends no how people use it. Although technology can be misused for criminal purposes, the benefits of modern security tools and digital systems are far greater. Therefore, I believe that whit proper laws and monitoring, technology can play a major role in reducing crime overall.
Sentence Making
improves security system → improves security systems
identify and catch criminal → identify and catch criminals
lowers the chance of theft and robbery → lowers the chances of theft and robbery
low-enforcement agencies → law enforcement agencies
some people believed technology encourages crime → some people believe technology encourages crime
advances technology → advanced technology
it depends no how people use it → it depends on how people use it
whit proper laws → with proper laws
Sentence Structure
Both views will be discussed before giving my own opinion → Both views will be discussed, and I will provide my own opinion
Criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers or mobile phones without even meeting them → Criminals can steal personal information from people’s computers or mobile phones without any physical contact
Word Selection
leads to more criminal activities → leads to more criminal activity
faster-growing areas → fast-growing areas
misused for criminal purposes → misused for illegal purposes
Word Formation
reduces the need → reduces the need
encrypted messaging → encrypted messaging (correct)
monitoring → monitoring (correct)
Capitalization
Technology → technology (mid-sentence)
Modern CCTV → modern CCTV
Punctuation
Add commas after introductory phrases: “On the one hand, …”
Remove unnecessary commas: “Although technology can be misused for criminal purposes, the benefits …” is correct
“it depends no how people use it” → add comma: “it depends on how people use it”
Band score : 6.0