Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Write at least 250 words.
Remaining Time:
WT-2, 26/11/2025
Word Count: 0
There are number of people who think government put too much importance on education. However, other peoples believe government also should spent money on leisure activities for young individuals. I agree with the first statement cause education is crucial for everyone, although everyone should be concious of how they spent their free time.
Everyone in the world should be educated cause education is essencial to live a life. Without education people can not take a proper decision also does not know the difference between good or bad thing ,moreover they are not aware of their surroundings. Which is why government put so much pressure on everyone to complete their education. The countries which are rich economically there litereci rate is 98%, while poor or developing countries have half educated people of their population.
On the other hand, if government take some steps for people to spent their leisure time by doing something productive then the population of this country will become curious and innovative which will help to boost a countries economy. I do not completely disagree that government should not spent any money on leisure activities for every generation because that is also a important part to spent money on. However government first priority should be always on education cause a developed rich country have educated population. Also in this modern generation there is not other way to become successful then studying.
To conclude, government is doing the right thing by emphasis on education cause education is crucial for individuals, although government should put importance on how people spent their free time also making the free time a opportunities for everyone to learn something creative.
Sentence Making
There are number of people
There are a number of people
government put
government puts
other peoples
other people
should spent money
should spend money
I agree with the first statement cause
I agree with the first statement because
Sentence Structure
Which is why
This is why
can not take a proper decision also does not know
cannot make proper decisions and do not know
there is not other way
there is no other way
Word Selection
peoples
people
cause
because
essencial
essential
surroundings
environment
litereci
literacy
then studying
than studying
Word Formation
should spent
should spend
emphasis on education
emphasizing education
a countries economy
a country’s economy
opportunities for everyone
an opportunity for everyone
Capitalization
government (when not specific)
government (lowercase)
Also in this modern generation
Also, in this modern generation
Punctuation
thing ,moreover
thing. Moreover
However government
However, the government
Also in this modern generation
Also, in this modern generation
Band: 5.5
It is believe by some people that too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More authority money ought to be spent on leisure time activities for young people. I agree with the statement because students is the backbone of a nation. However, free time activities for young people also beneficial as well.
To begin with, it is widely believed that too much emphasis is given for the education of students because education is the key of success. There are many uneducated people in the world in present. They should learn more and more for the country and also development of a country. A nation cannot find the development way if there was none to give direction. For example, Japan a developed country. In this country almost everyone give their best approach for their country development and they were successful.
On the other hand, government money should be spent on free time activities for adults. young people are rising star of a nation. Nowadays almost every young people are lazy and they used to spent much more time on mobile phone. Government should spent money for making different kinds of playground such as for Cricket ground, Football ground, Tennis courts. If they go outside and play physically with their friends it will be beneficial for their health.
In conclusion, education and free time activities for young people both have good sides. In addition, government should invest for making different kinds of playground because it would be helpful for young people to play outside. However, too much emphasis should given for the education of students.
Sentence Making
It is believe
It is believed
emphasis is given for
emphasis is given to
students is
students are
also beneficial as well
also beneficial
the key of success
the key to success
They should learn more and more for the country
They should learn more and more for the country’s development
Japan a developed country
Japan is a developed country
government money should be spent on free time activities for adults
government money should be spent on free time activities for young people
Sentence Structure
because education is the key of success
because education is the key to success
They should learn more and more for the country and also development of a country
They should learn more for the development of the country
a nation cannot find the development way
a nation cannot find the path to development
Nowadays almost every young people are lazy
Nowadays almost all young people are lazy
If they go outside and play physically with their friends it will be beneficial
If they go outside and play physically with their friends, it will be beneficial
too much emphasis should given
too much emphasis should be given
Word Selection
believe
believed
emphasis given for
emphasis given to
authority money
government money
backbone of a nation
backbone of the nation
development way
path to development
rising star
rising stars
used to spent
used to spend
Word Formation
students is
students are
ought to spent
ought to spend
almost everyone give
almost everyone gives
were successful
has been successful
spent money
spend money
playground such as for Cricket ground
playgrounds such as cricket grounds
Capitalization
young people
Young people (only at beginning of sentence)
Cricket ground, Football ground, Tennis courts
cricket grounds, football grounds, tennis courts
government
Government (only when referring to a specific government)
Punctuation
Japan a developed country.
Japan is a developed country.
adults. young people
adults. Young people
friends it will be beneficial
friends, it will be beneficial
In addition, government
In addition, the governmen
Band : 5.0
The government given huge priority for education of students. More government money have to expand for young people’s free time activities and I totally agree with this, since besides education, children needs other activities for refresh their mind as well as keep their body fit which is the most important thing for children.
Authorities are using maximum amount on educational purpose but this is not thing to spent for because their are other expend also such as they should give focus on spent on young people’s free time activities. Although, education is a backbone of nation but children need others activities also, it will help to boost up their physical activities, as young people love to do other free time activities for instance play different types of games. If government give support for children’s free time activities then it also help to keep them physically fit.
Moreover, if young people get chance to get free time activities it also release their mental pressure because too much emphasis creates huge pressure in children’s mind, so it will help to reduce mental pressure also. It refresh young people’s mind because of less pressure, for example a research shows that which is done by USA that children’s get time for free activities can easily understand academic stuffs. However, spending too much on free time activities also can bring some issues for instance it may distract young people’s from study.
To sum up, government is given too much in emphasis on education but it also needed to give priority to free time activities as well, since it comes with lot of merit. So in both cases authorities should equal emphasis and I strongly agree with spending in free time activities for children.
Sentence Making
The government given
The government has given
priority for education
priority to education
money have to expand
money has to be spent
children needs
children need
for refresh their mind
to refresh their mind
Authorities are using maximum amount
Authorities are using the maximum amount
this is not thing to spent for
this is not something to spend on
their are other expend
there are other expenses
children need others activities
children need other activities
it also release their mental pressure
it also releases their mental pressure
it refresh young people’s mind
it refreshes young people’s minds
government is given too much in emphasis
government has given too much emphasis
Sentence Structure
as well as keep their body fit
as well as keeping their body fit
but children need others activities also, it will help
but children need other activities also, and it will help
If government give support… then it also help
If the government gives support… then it also helps
because too much emphasis creates huge pressure
because too much emphasis creates significant pressure
which is done by USA that children’s get time
which was done in the USA showing that children who get time
since it comes with lot of merit
since it comes with a lot of benefits
Word Selection
expand (for money)
spend
other expend
other expenses
boost up
boost
stuffs
material / content
lot of merit
many benefits
equal emphasis
equal emphasis on both
Word Formation
children’s free time activities
children’s free-time activities
play different types of games
playing different types of games
emphasis on spending
emphasis on spending
children’s get time
children get time
issues for instance it may distract
issues, for instance it may distract
Capitalization
government (when general)
government (lowercase)
USA
USA (correct, ensure consistent capitalization)
authorities
Authorities (only capitalized at start of sentence)
Punctuation
government given huge priority
government has given huge priority
children’s free time activities then it also help
children’s free-time activities, then it also helps
USA that children’s
USA, that children
So in both cases
So, in both cases
education but it also needed
education, but it is also needed
Band score : 5.0
There are number of people they believe that government put too much important on education . however others people believe that government money ought to be spent on free time activities for young people. I think that government most emphasis for the education for students , although everyone ought be how to spent on free time activities.
There are number of people believe that government put too much important on education . because education is the most important for every people . its give us knowledge . when people are educated they found good job . Education gives us many oppourtunites . For example , A person when her higher education complete he get a good job and led a better life. So, education is most importent of students.
However, Other people believe that government ought to be spent on free time activities . as a result its
Sentence Making
There are number of people they believe
There are a number of people who believe
government put too much important
government puts too much importance
others people
other people
government most emphasis for
government places the most emphasis on
everyone ought be
everyone ought to be
how to spent on free time
how to spend their free time
because education is the most important for every people
because education is the most important for everyone
its give us knowledge
it gives us knowledge
when people are educated they found good job
when people are educated they find good jobs
A person when her higher education complete he get a good job
When a person completes higher education, he/she gets a good job
Sentence Structure
There are number of people believe
There are a number of people who believe
because education is the most important for every people . its give
because education is the most important for everyone. It gives
A person when her higher education complete
When a person completes higher education
government ought to be spent on free time activities
government ought to spend money on free-time activities
Word Selection
important (wrong word)
importance
oppourtunites
opportunities
importent
important
led a better life
lead a better life
Word Formation
others people
other people
ought be
ought to be
spent (wrong form)
spend
her higher education complete
his/her higher education is completed
Capitalization
however
However
Education
education (unless at start of sentence)
Other
Other (only capitalized when beginning a sentence)
Punctuation
education . however
education. However
people . its
people. It’s / people. It is
For example , A person
For example, a person
students , although
students, although
Band score : 4.5
Some people believed that government focus excessively on academic educations in schools, and that more public money should be invested in leisure activities for young people. I completely disagree with this view, although I believe recreational facilities also deserve some support.
To begin with, school educational plays a crucial role in shaping young people’s future, and therefore it is natural for governments to priorities it. A strong educational system ensures that students develop essential skills such as literacy, numeracy, and problem solving, which are necessary for both personal and professional success. Without sufficient investment in trained teachers, updated curricula and modern classrooms, students would struggle to compete in the global job market. Therefore allocating a significant proportion of public funds to education in both reasonable and necessary.
The government ought to spent money on free time activities for young people, however, government pay should be essential educational skills, while free time activities waste in money. The government ought to support local artists financially due to the economic benefits their work can bring . If the government organizes events like art festivals and exhibitions, it can create opportunities for local artists to display their work to a wider audience. If the government should be investment in free time activities, this is necessary but not quite important. Therefore, Free time activities for young people are increases of mental health and physical health, due to the people personal activities . Thus, by investing in education of students, the government can stimulate economic development while supporting the education.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that recreational facilities also deserve some support, as it will ensure economic growth, its not quite government spent money on free time activities.
Sentence Making
Some people believed
Some people believe
government focus excessively
government focuses excessively
academic educations
academic education
school educational plays
school education plays
priorities it
prioritizes it
both reasonable and necessary
both reasonable and necessary (needs a comma before “allocating” but wording is okay)
government ought to spent
government ought to spend
government pay should be essential educational skills
government funding should prioritize essential educational skills
free time activities waste in money
free time activities are a waste of money
government ought to support local artists financially due to the economic benefits their work can bring
government ought to support local artists financially because of the economic benefits their work can bring
If the government should be investment
If the government invests
Free time activities for young people are increases of mental health
Free time activities for young people increase mental health
as it will ensure economic growth, its not quite government spent money
as it will ensure economic growth, it is not necessary for the government to spend money
Sentence Structure
school educational plays a crucial role
school education plays a crucial role
therefore allocating a significant proportion
therefore, allocating a significant proportion
The government ought to spent money… however, government pay should
The government ought to spend money… however, government funding should
Therefore, Free time activities for young people are increases
Therefore, free-time activities for young people increase
thus, by investing in education of students
thus, by investing in the education of students
Word Selection
educational (noun form used incorrectly)
education
priorities (wrong spelling/usage)
prioritizes
problem solving
problem-solving
ought to spent
ought to spend
waste in money
waste of money
ought to support
should support (more natural)
should be investment
should invest / should be investing
personal activities
personal interests / personal activities (context unclear)
Word Formation
educations
education
educational skills
educational needs / essential skills
increases of mental health
increase mental health
free time activities
free-time activities
Capitalization
Free time activities
free-time activities
Therefore, Free
Therefore, free
In conclusion, I firmly believe
Correct, just ensure consistent lowercase elsewhere
Punctuation
schools, and that more
schools, and that more (comma correct)
Without sufficient investment in trained teachers, updated curricula and modern classrooms
updated curricula, and modern classrooms
Therefore allocating
Therefore, allocating
bring . If
bring. If
Therefore, Free time activities
Therefore, free-time activities
growth, its not quite government
growth, it is not quite the government’s role
Band score : 5.5
Education is important as well as other activities are more important for the students. I agree with this statement because it helps students to increase their skills in the other activities which improve them in practical world, but this can also bring some difficulties on education ground.
Regarding free time activities is totally a important for a young people which help them to built a skillful mind also can demolish their skills. I agree with that because it can balance youth mind on a good skill and help to work on a suitable work. If authorities create such things which help them to spend their free time productively then they can not mislead in their path. They can spend money to create playful activities about robotics, how to create apps which built a creative mind. In a recent survey, Chinese youth are get different types of activities which help them to practical skills, their youth are more knowledgeable from robotics from a young age.
Conversely, education also important part for the students life, and too much pressured in this field create a student more fluent. Without education the students can not do good in other activities. This pressure can create consistency with study which help them to improve their results. The concertation in education to get that place to show their skills to betterments. So, if they pressured more on education its give the students a significant result.
In conclusion, other activities need much support from the government it create a path which built a skillful young generation. But, education is not a overlook thing, more emphasis need in education sector to build actual profile.
Sentence Making
Education is important as well as other activities are more important
Education is important, and other activities are also important
which improve them in practical world
which improve them in the practical world
regarding free time activities is totally a important
regarding free-time activities, it is totally important
a young people
young people / a young person
which help them to built a skillful mind
which helps them to build a skillful mind
also can demolish their skills
and can also damage their skills
they can not mislead in their path
they cannot be misled from their path
Chinese youth are get different types of activities
Chinese youth get different types of activities
education also important part
education is also an important part
too much pressured in this field create a student more fluent
too much pressure in this field makes a student more fluent
Without education the students can not do good
Without education, students cannot do well
if they pressured more on education
if they are pressured more in education
it create a path
it creates a path
education is not a overlook thing
education is not an overlooked thing
Sentence Structure
as well as other activities are more important
as well as other activities being important
I agree with this statement because it helps students to increase their skills in the other activities
I agree… because it helps students increase their skills in other activities
regarding free time activities is totally a important
Regarding free-time activities, it is completely important
also can demolish their skills
and can also harm their skills
They can spend money to create playful activities about robotics, how to create apps
They can spend money creating activities related to robotics or app development
education also important part for the students life
education is also an important part of students’ lives
So, if they pressured more on education
So, if they are pressured more in education
more emphasis need in education sector
more emphasis is needed in the education sector
Word Selection
more important (incorrect comparison)
equally important
demolish their skills
harm their skills
mislead
go off track / take the wrong path
playful activities
practical activities / skill-based activities
practical skills, their youth are more knowledgeable from robotics
practical skills; their youth are more knowledgeable in robotics
fluent (wrong context)
successful / capable
overlook
overlooked
actual profile
proper profile / strong profile
Word Formation
built
build
a important
an important
skillful mind
skilled mind
are get
get
pressured
put under pressure
betterments
betterment
need much support
needs much support
Capitalization
Chinese
Band : 5.0
Chinese (correct)
But, education
But education (remove unnecessary comma)
In conclusion
In conclusion (correct)
Punctuation
students to increase their skills in the other activities which improve them
activities, which improve them
mind also can
mind, and it also can
survey, Chinese youth
survey, Chinese youth
So, if
So if
government it create
government, it creates
The authority ought to use more money on free time activities for young individuals, instead of giving too much priority for the educational purpose. I totally agree with the statement because it activities helps pupils to make stay fit and establish a good career in sports, but it also seems some bad effect for education and brings major injuries to their life .
The government should spent more money in free time activities because it helps students to stay fit by doing various kinds of activity like playing football, cricket, basketball, table tennis, volleyball and many more sports. A students who is good in any of these activity, then he can easily ensure a good career in sports and it helps them to pursue their life goals. A recent survey showed that more than 30% of pupil in Malta are made a good career in sports.
On the other hand, if the authorities spent money more than they need it will affect on students study because the pupils will more concentrate in activities instead of study, which makes a bad results in their academic and it will also affect on their daily life. Sometimes people lost their goals and dreams due to an injury which they get from a free time activity, they spend their whole life in a wheel chair or in a bed.
To conclude, the government should spend more money on free time activities which helps students to establish a better future for themselves , I fully agree with that. But, it also have some negative sides which affect badly in their life.
Sentence Making
it activities helps
it helps
make stay fit
stay fit
major injuries to their life
serious injuries in their life
should spent more money
should spend more money
A students who is good in any of these activity
A student who is good in any of these activities
are made a good career
have made a good career
spent money more than they need
spend more money than they need
which makes a bad results
which produces poor results
lost their goals and dreams due to an injury which they get
lose their goals and dreams due to an injury they get
it also have some negative sides
it also has some negative aspects
Sentence Structure
priority for the educational purpose
priority on educational purposes
pupils to make stay fit
pupils to stay fit
A students who is good… then he can easily ensure a good career
A student who is good… can easily secure a good career
pupils will more concentrate in activities instead of study
pupils will concentrate more on activities instead of studying
they spend their whole life in a wheel chair or in a bed
they may spend their whole life in a wheelchair or bedridden
which helps students to establish a better future for themselves , I fully agree
which helps students establish a better future for themselves. I fully agree
Word Selection
authority
authorities / the government
bad effect for education
negative effect on education
various kinds of activity
various kinds of activities
it helps them to pursue their life goals
it helps them achieve their life goals
affect on students study
affect students’ studies
a wheel chair
a wheelchair
negative sides
negative aspects
Word Formation
spent
spend
a students
a student
activity
activities
makes a bad results
produces poor results
it also have
it also has
major injuries to their life
serious injuries in their life
Capitalization
But, it also have
But it also has
A students who is good
A student who is good
Punctuation
future for themselves , I fully agree
future for themselves. I fully agree
instead of study, which makes a bad results
instead of studying, which produces poor results
sports, but it also seems some bad effect
sports, but it also seems to have some negative effect
Band : 5.5
It is often believed that government ought to focus strictly on educational system, other claimed that principles should alleviated money on leisure activities. I completely agree with this notion, as such much emphasis for the education of student can provide them more opportunities to learn new things.
To begin with, government play a vital role for a countries student, if government much emphasis on educational systems pupils would be more encouraged about study. To simplify, government can provide many educational facilities such as improve learning method with technological systems, built new buildings for better facilities to learning new skills, researches new subject. As a result student would be more interested in their field, thus they can gain a better result. For example, In USA many of students are doing best result , the reason behind this was that the government focus much in their educational systems.
The government ought to support leisure activities as well due to mantain their mental health. With study it is also important for pupils to do free time activities, it can boost their creativity, because if they doing their free time activities such as reading, writing or dancing it can make them more confident in their life. Therefore, it help them reduce their mental stress. Additionally leisure activities provide young people a healthy life style, for example, when a student do their free time activities such as wlking, excercise regularly it help them to stay fit.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that government should emphasis much in educational system, as it give them to focus more in their study and help them to boost their learning skills.
Sentence Making
other claimed
others claim
principles should alleviated money
authorities should allocate money
as such much emphasis for the education of student
as such, much emphasis on the education of students
government play a vital role for a countries student
government plays a vital role for a country’s students
if government much emphasis
if the government places much emphasis
built new buildings for better facilities to learning new skills
build new buildings for better facilities for learning new skills
researches new subject
researching new subjects
many of students are doing best result
many students are achieving the best results
if they doing their free time activities
if they do their free-time activities
wlking, excercise regularly it help them
walking, exercising regularly, it helps them
government should emphasis much in educational system
government should place much emphasis on the educational system
as it give them to focus
as it gives them focus
Sentence Structure
government ought to focus strictly on educational system, other claimed
government ought to focus strictly on the educational system; others claim
To simplify, government can provide many educational facilities such as improve learning method
To simplify, the government can provide many educational facilities, such as improving learning methods
thus they can gain a better result
thus they can achieve better results
With study it is also important for pupils to do free time activities
Along with studying, it is also important for pupils to engage in free-time activities
Additionally leisure activities provide young people a healthy life style
Additionally, leisure activities provide young people with a healthy lifestyle
Word Selection
alleviated
allocated
for a countries student
for a country’s students
best result
best results
it help them reduce their mental stress
it helps reduce their mental stress
exercise regularly
exercising regularly
give them to focus
give them focus / allow them to focus
free time activities
free-time activities
life style
lifestyle
Word Formation
play → plays
student → students
improve → improving
researches → researching
excercise → exercising
emphasis → emphasize / place emphasis
wlking → walking
Capitalization
In USA
In the USA
Therefore, it help
Therefore, it helps
Additionally leisure activities
Additionally, leisure activities
Punctuation
educational system, other claimed
educational system; others claim
improve learning method with technological systems, built new buildings
improve learning methods with technological systems, build new buildings
skills, researches new subject
skills, researching new subjects
reading, writing or dancing it can make
reading, writing, or dancing, it can make
walking, exercising regularly it help
walking, exercising regularly, it helps
Band score : 5.5
I believe that the government ought to provide the expenditure for co-curricular activities for young individuals more because it will expand their knowledge beyond the classroom, but I also agree that the education of students should be taken into consideration too.
Emphasizing on free time activities for children and adults can be beneficial, as they stimulate the minds of human. So, people can develop their creative skills by involving in leisure activities. Also, co-curricular activities are also proven to be helpful for physical and mental well being. Individuals learn a lot of things from these kind of activities that the may never learn in confined information and knowledge of classroom. If the government provides more money on free time activities, institutions can easily create the environment for this. Since students will spent more time doing these activities, their mental and physical health will be good. As a result, young people will be free from problems of current generation , such as anxiety and depression. They will be able to explore their different creative skills.
However, the government should not devalue completely the importance of education. Education plays a significant role in life for a reason. Too much involvement in leisure activity can make the young people indifferent to gain knowledge.
To conclude, government should spent more on leisure activity along with education.
Sentence Making
provide the expenditure for co-curricular activities for young individuals more
provide more expenditure for co-curricular activities for young individuals
expand their knowledge beyond the classroom, but I also agree
expand their knowledge beyond the classroom, while I also agree
Emphasizing on free time activities
Emphasizing free-time activities
they stimulate the minds of human
they stimulate human minds
by involving in leisure activities
by involving themselves in leisure activities
from these kind of activities
from these kinds of activities
that the may never learn
that they may never learn
provides more money on free time activities
provides more money for free-time activities
will spent more time doing these activities
will spend more time doing these activities
problems of current generation , such as anxiety
problems of the current generation, such as anxiety
leisure activity along with education
leisure activities along with education
Sentence Structure
Emphasizing on free time activities for children and adults can be beneficial
Emphasizing free-time activities for children and adults can be beneficial
If the government provides more money on free time activities, institutions can easily create the environment for this
If the government provides more money for free-time activities, institutions can easily create an environment for them
Too much involvement in leisure activity can make the young people indifferent to gain knowledge
Too much involvement in leisure activities can make young people indifferent to gaining knowledge
Word Selection
human
humans / people
spent
spend
devalue completely
completely devalue / disregard
involvement in leisure activity
involvement in leisure activities
provide the expenditure
allocate funds / provide funding
Word Formation
free time activities
free-time activities
kind of activities
kinds of activities
leisure activity
leisure activities
mental and physical well being
mental and physical well-being
Capitalization
To conclude
Correct
Punctuation
explore their different creative skills
explore their different creative skills.
generation , such as anxiety
generation, such as anxiety
provide the expenditure for co-curricular activities for young individuals more because it will expand
…young individuals more, because it will expand
Band : 5.5
Some individuals believed that education must needed for the students. Others, however, said that the authority need to concern on spending money on leisure activities for the young public. In my point of view, I totally agreed with later declaration what is more important for the younger people who needs to explore their knowledge with their leisure activities.
Nowadays people believed that education is able to done by pressurize a person who do not want to concerned on it. But parents are always pressured them for study, what feels a much discomfort for a student. For that types of reason students are turning into addicted in drugs or alcohol , which can be a dangerous movement for their future life. For example, recently a news came up on this headline where they mentioned that 22% students were unhappy because they always under pressure for study.
In the current time young people get so lazy day by day. For that, the authority should takes various type of projects for making places where the little people can explore. Without making them attracted to field, they will be struggle with their obesity, frustration, anxiety. So, government can take some steps for fulfill that by given a huge expenditure for develop the fields and also making some seminar where motivator speaker could help them with explaining the necessity of coming to field for spent their leisure time. Recently a information came by Brazil sports federation where they mentioned people need to aware about spending their leisure time in field over using phone.
To sum up, I would like to highlight that education is useful for human being but for getting a good life, persons need to enjoy their leisure time wisely.
Sentence Making
Some individuals believed
Some individuals believe
education must needed for the students
education is a must for students / education is necessary for students
authority need to concern on spending money
authorities need to focus on spending money
In my point of view
In my point of view / From my point of view
I totally agreed with later declaration
I totally agree with the latter statement
younger people who needs
younger people who need
education is able to done by pressurize a person
education can be achieved by pressuring a person
who do not want to concerned on it
who does not want to be concerned with it
parents are always pressured them for study
parents always pressure them to study
what feels a much discomfort
which causes much discomfort
For that types of reason
For these types of reasons
turning into addicted in drugs or alcohol
turning to addiction to drugs or alcohol
government should takes
government should take
projects for making places
projects to create places
people need to aware about spending their leisure time
people need to be aware of spending their leisure time
for spent their leisure time
to spend their leisure time
a information came by Brazil sports federation
information came from the Brazil Sports Federation
Sentence Structure
Others, however, said that the authority need to concern on spending money
Others, however, said that the authorities need to focus on spending money
But parents are always pressured them for study, what feels a much discomfort
But parents always pressure them to study, which causes much discomfort
Without making them attracted to field, they will be struggle with their obesity, frustration, anxiety
Without attracting them to the field, they will struggle with obesity, frustration, and anxiety
for fulfill that by given a huge expenditure for develop the fields
to fulfill that by providing a huge expenditure to develop the fields
where motivator speaker could help them with explaining the necessity
where motivational speakers could help explain the necessity
Word Selection
must needed
necessary / essential
concern on
focus on / allocate funds to
later declaration
latter statement
addicted in drugs or alcohol
addicted to drugs or alcohol
little people
young people / children
attracted to field
attracted to outdoor activities / sports fields
motivator speaker
motivational speaker
good life, persons need to enjoy
good life, people need to enjoy
Word Formation
needs → need
pressured → pressure
spent → spend
a information → information
takes → take
develop → developing / to develop
Capitalization
Brazil sports federation → Brazil Sports Federation
Punctuation
22% students → 22% of students
turning into addicted in drugs or alcohol , which → turning to addiction to drugs or alcohol, which
obesity, frustration, anxiety → obesity, frustration, and anxiety
Band : 5.0
It is believed by some people that too much emphasis is given for the education of pupils. More authority money should be spent on leisure time activities for young people. I agree with this statement because students are the backbone of the country, but leisure time activities are also beneficial for the young people.
To begin with it is widely believed that too much emphasis is given for the education of students because education is the key success for the pupils, As a result too much priority given for the education it gives the opportunity to the students for a higher study in abroad. However in the future it helps to got a good job opportunity for the students. For example China is a developed country, China government gives too much emphasis for the education for the pupils development and they are successful.
On the other hand, Authority should be spent money on free time activities for young people because they are get lazy day by day, For that the government should take various type projects for making the young people active, while authority should make some new exciting playground for the young people they will excited to play.
In conclude, too much priority is given for the education of students it help the pupils well bring. whereas government should spent money also for the stude
Sentence Making
too much emphasis is given for the education
too much emphasis is given on education
More authority money should be spent
More government money should be spent
key success for the pupils
key to success for pupils
too much priority given for the education it gives the opportunity
too much priority given to education gives students the opportunity
it helps to got a good job opportunity
it helps to get a good job opportunity
China government gives too much emphasis for the education for the pupils development
The Chinese government gives too much emphasis on education for pupils’ development
Authority should be spent money
Authorities should spend money
they are get lazy day by day
they are getting lazy day by day
various type projects
various types of projects
while authority should make some new exciting playground
while authorities should make some new and exciting playgrounds
they will excited to play
they will be excited to play
In conclude
In conclusion
it help the pupils well bring
it helps students develop well / it benefits students
government should spent money also for the stude
the government should also spend money for students
Sentence Structure
I agree with this statement because students are the backbone of the country, but leisure time activities are also beneficial for the young people
I agree with this statement because students are the backbone of the country; however, leisure-time activities are also beneficial for young people
For example China is a developed country, China government gives too much emphasis
For example, China is a developed country where the government gives too much emphasis
On the other hand, Authority should be spent money on free time activities for young people because they are get lazy day by day
On the other hand, authorities should spend money on free-time activities for young people, as they are becoming lazy day by day
For that the government should take various type projects for making the young people active
Therefore, the government should undertake various projects to make young people more active
Word Selection
authority → authorities / the government
key success → key to success
for the pupils development → for pupils’ development
free time activities → leisure-time activities
they are get lazy → they are becoming lazy
excited to play → motivated/excited to play
well bring → develop well / benefit
spent → spend
Word Formation
got → get
type → types
playground → playgrounds
stude → students
Capitalization
Authority → authorities
China government → Chinese government
In conclude → In conclusion
Punctuation
For example China → For example, China
key success for the pupils, As a result → key to success for pupils. As a result
day by day, For that → day by day. For that
In conclude, too much priority → In conclusion, too much priority
Band : 5.0