The chart below shows the percentage of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in 2000.
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Writing Task 1
Word Count: 0
The chart below shows the percentage of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in 2000.
Word Count: 0
This bar chart illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 years in a particular country who participated on six different sport compared with the ratio of individuals who watched them in the year 2000.
Overall, in tennis watching people was the highest while, in horse riding and racing they showed lowest interest . However ,the ratio of participants on basketball was the highest whereas on horse riding and racing they was the lowest .Notably , participants on tennis and golf were similar
Regarding to basketball , the ratio of watching people which was over 50% closely followed by the ratio of participants at 50% . in gymnastics , participants number just below 10% was half of watching people number the ratio was 20% . Moreover, in horse riding and racing both viewers and participants showed the lowest interest ,the ratio was almost 5% and almost 2% respectively .
On the contrary , in tennis, the ratio of viewers was double then the ratio of participants which was 60% and 30% respectively . where in badminton we notice the same over 5% and over 10% respectively .
1️⃣ Original:
This bar chart illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 years in a particular country who participated on six different sport compared with the ratio of individuals who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of females aged 16 to 25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
📝 (mistakes – missing preposition “of females,” “under 16-25 years” → “aged 16 to 25,” “on” → “in,” “sport” → “sports,” “ratio” → “percentage,” )
2️⃣ Original:
Overall, in tennis watching people was the highest while, in horse riding and racing they showed lowest interest .
Correction:
Overall, tennis had the highest proportion of viewers, while horse riding and racing attracted the least interest.
📝 (mistakes – “in tennis watching people was” → “tennis had the highest proportion of viewers,” missing article “the,” “showed lowest interest” → “attracted the least interest,” punctuation issue.)
3️⃣ Original:
However ,the ratio of participants on basketball was the highest whereas on horse riding and racing they was the lowest .
Correction:
However, the proportion of basketball participants was the highest, whereas horse riding and racing had the lowest number of participants.
📝 (mistakes – “ratio” → “proportion,” “on basketball” → “in basketball,” “they was” → “had,” article and punctuation errors.)
4️⃣ Original:
Regarding to basketball , the ratio of watching people which was over 50% closely followed by the ratio of participants at 50% .
Correction:
Regarding basketball, the percentage of viewers, just over 50%, closely followed the participation rate at 50%.
📝 (mistakes – missing space after “similar,” “on tennis” → “in tennis,” “ratio of watching people which was” → “percentage of viewers, just over,” punctuation, sentence separation issue.)
5️⃣ Original:
in gymnastics , participants number just below 10% was half of watching people number the ratio was 20% .
Correction:
In gymnastics, the number of participants, just below 10%, was half the number of viewers, whose proportion was around 20%.
📝 (mistakes – missing article “the,” unclear structure “participants number” → “the number of participants,” punctuation missing, wording improved for clarity.)
6️⃣ Original:
Moreover, in horse riding and racing both viewers and participants showed the lowest interest ,the ratio was almost 5% and almost 2% respectively .
Correction:
Moreover, in horse riding and racing, both viewers and participants showed the lowest interest, with figures of around 5% and 2% respectively.
📝 (mistakes – “lowest interest” → “least interest,” missing comma, “the ratio was” → “with figures of,” spacing and punctuation.)
7️⃣ Original:
On the contrary , in tennis, the ratio of viewers was double then the ratio of participants which was 60% and 30% respectively .
Correction:
In contrast, in tennis, the percentage of viewers was double that of participants, at 60% and 30% respectively.
📝 (mistakes – “On the contrary” → “In contrast,” “then” → “that,” punctuation, unnecessary comma placement.)
8️⃣ Original:
where in badminton we notice the same over 5% and over 10% respectively .
Correction:
A similar trend was observed in badminton, with just over 5% viewers and over 10% participants.
📝 (mistakes – “where in badminton we notice” → “A similar trend was observed in badminton,” “the same over” → “with just over,” missing clarity and formal tone.)
Band….6
The bar chart demonstrate the ratio of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Overall, In a specific country majority of females had watched tennis rather than participating in it . Noticeably the difference between the ratio of viewers and participants in tennis was big . Girl showed the least interest in watching and participating in horse riding and racing .Amount of viewers was more than participants in all sports, except badminton and golf.
In terms of the amount of participants was just below 10% and it was around 10% less than the amount of viewers. However in golf, the percentage of participants was 20% more than the viewers at 30%. In basketball, the ratio of viewers was
Manna
1️⃣ Original:
The bar chart demonstrate the ratio of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart demonstrates the percentage of females aged 16–25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
📝 Mistakes:
“demonstrate” → should be “demonstrate” (verb form agreement with singular subject “chart”)
“ratio” → better replaced by “percentage” for accuracy
2️⃣ Original:
Overall, In a specific country majority of females had watched tennis rather than participating in it. Noticeably the difference between the ratio of viewers and participants in tennis was big. Girl showed the least interest in watching and participating in horse riding and racing. Amount of viewers was more than participants in all sports, except badminton and golf.
Correction:
Overall, in this country, the majority of females watched tennis rather than participated in it. Noticeably, the difference between the percentage of viewers and participants in tennis was signifant. Girls showed the least interest in both watching and participating in horse riding and racing. The number of viewers was higher than that of participants in all sports, except badminton and golf.
📝 Mistakes:
“In” should be lowercase after “Overall,”
“had watched” → unnecessary past perfect → “watched”
“ratio” → better as “percentage”
“big” → formal report → “Significant”
“Girl” → “Girls” plural
“Amount” → use “number” for countable noun “viewers”
Missing commas for clarity
3️⃣ Original:
In terms of the amount of participants was just below 10% and it was around 10% less than the amount of viewers. However in golf, the percentage of participants was 20% more than the viewers at 30%. In basketball, the ratio of viewers was
Correction:
In terms of gymnastics, the proportion of participants was just below 10%, which was about 10% lower than that of viewers. However, in golf, the percentage of participants was 20% higher than that of viewers, at 30%. In basketball, the proportion of viewers was… (sentence incomplete)
📝 Mistakes:
Missing the sport name (should specify “gymnastics”)
“amount” → “proportion” or “percentage” (uncountable)
“was just below 10% and it was” → use “which was” for better flow
“more than the viewers” → should be “higher than that of viewers”
Sentence incomplete after “basketball”
Band…6
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of female aged 16 to 25 in a particular country who participated six distinct sport compared with those who watched them in the year 2000.
Overall, the higher percentage of young women preferred to watching sports rather than practicing in them. tennis and basketball were the most popular sports both to play and watch . whereas, badminton and racing attractive least interest .
In terms of watching tennis, young women led with the highest ratio, almost 60%, meanwhile,p
1. Original:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of female aged 16 to 25 in a particular country who participated six distinct sport compared with those who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of females aged 16 to 25 in a particular country who participated in six distinct sports, compared with those who watched these sports in the year 2000.
Mistakes:
“female” → should be plural → females
“participated six distinct sport” → missing preposition and plural noun → participated in six distinct sports
“watched them” → vague; better → watched these sports
2. Original:
Overall, the higher percentage of young women preferred to watching sports rather than practicing in them.
Correction:
Overall, a higher percentage of young women preferred watching sports rather than participating in them.
Mistakes:
“the higher percentage” → general statement → a higher percentage
“preferred to watching” → incorrect verb form → preferred watching
“practicing in them” → unnatural → participating in them
3. Original:
tennis and basketball were the most popular sports both to play and watch . whereas, badminton and racing attractive least interest .
Correction:
Tennis and basketball were the most popular sports both to play and watch, whereas badminton and racing attracted the least interest.
Mistakes:
Sentence should start with capital → Tennis
Extra space before period → remove
“attractive least interest” → wrong verb → attracted the least interest
Comma usage → “whereas” does not need a comma after it
4. Original (partial):
In terms of watching tennis, young women led with the highest ratio, almost 60%, meanwhile,p
Correction:
In terms of watching tennis, young women had the highest proportion, almost 60%.
Mistakes:
“led with the highest ratio” → awkward, better → had the highest proportion
Sentence incomplete → remove “meanwhile,p”
Band 5
The bar chart illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the proportion of individuals who watched them in the year 2000
Overall, in tennis watching people the highest while, in horse riding and racing they interest lowest. However, the proportion of participant on basketball was the highest whereas on horse riding and racing they was the lowest. Notably, participants on tennis and golf were similar
In terms of basketball, the sports is equally the ratio of watching people which is over 50% closely followed by the proportion at 50%. In gymnastics, participants number just below 10% was half of watching people
1️⃣ Original:
The bar chart illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the proportion of individuals who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of females aged 16–25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the proportion of people who watched them in 2000.
📝 Mistakes:
“ratio females under 16–25” → should be “percentage of females aged 16–25” (grammatical and formal)
“the year 2000” → “in 2000” (simpler and correct)
Missing “of” before “females.”
2️⃣ Original:
Overall, in tennis watching people the highest while, in horse riding and racing they interest lowest. However, the proportion of participant on basketball was the highest whereas on horse riding and racing they was the lowest. Notably, participants on tennis and golf were similar.
Correction:
Overall, tennis attracted the highest percentage of viewers, while horse riding and racing were the least popular. However, the proportion of participants in basketball was the highest, whereas horse riding and racing had the lowest participation rates. Notably, the percentages of participants in tennis and golf were similar.
📝 Mistakes:
“in tennis watching people the highest” → needs full sentence: “tennis attracted the highest percentage of viewers”
“they interest lowest” → “were the least popular”
“participant on basketball” → “participants in basketball”
“they was” → “they were”
Missing articles (“the,” “in”) and punctuation.
3️⃣ Original:
In terms of basketball, the sports is equally the ratio of watching people which is over 50% closely followed by the proportion at 50%. In gymnastics, participants number just below 10% was half of watching people.
Correction:
In terms of basketball, the percentage of viewers was slightly over 50%, which was almost equal to the proportion of participants at around 50%. In gymnastics, the number of participants, at just below 10%, was about half that of viewers.
📝 Mistakes:
“the sports is equally the ratio” → awkward structure → “the percentage of viewers was slightly over 50%, almost equal to participants”
“ratio” → better as “percentage”
“participants number” → “the number of participants”
Missing commas and linking words.
Band….5.5
The bar demonstrates the ratio of women’s aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Overall, females were more likely to participate in golf, whereas the percentage of people who watched them was the lowest. Notably, a major difference was seen in the tennis, female who participated was the highest and people who watched them was the lowest.
In terms of the percentage of females aged 16-25, they were heavily involved in golf around 30, while the figure of people who watched them at 10. A minor difference was seen in the horse riding and racing, both were just below 10. In badminton, females participated more, around 12 which was followed by the people who watched them.
In tennis, people watched them is approximately 60, whereas the number of females who participated was at 30. The basketball of females who were the largest percentage at 55 and tennis and golf was the similar portion for participating in sports.
1️⃣ Original:
The bar demonstrates the ratio of women’s aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of females aged 16–25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the proportion of people who watched them in the year 2000.
📝 Mistakes:
“The bar” → should be “The bar chart” (clarity).
“ratio of women’s aged 16–25” → wrong possessive → “percentage of females aged 16–25.”
2️⃣ Original:
Overall, females were more likely to participate in golf, whereas the percentage of people who watched them was the lowest. Notably, a major difference was seen in the tennis, female who participated was the highest and people who watched them was the lowest.
Correction:
Overall, females were more likely to participate in golf, whereas the proportion of viewers was the lowest for this sport. Notably, a major difference was observed in tennis, where the percentage of participants was the highest, while the figure for viewers was considerably lower.
📝 Mistakes:
“in the tennis” → remove “the” → “in tennis.”
“female who participated was the highest” → plural needed → “females who participated were the highest.”
“people who watched them was” → “was” → ✅ “were.”
Awkward phrasing improved for flow and precision.
3️⃣ Original:
In terms of the percentage of females aged 16-25, they were heavily involved in golf around 30, while the figure of people who watched them at 10. A minor difference was seen in the horse riding and racing, both were just below 10. In badminton, females participated more, around 12 which was followed by the people who watched them.
Correction:
In terms of golf, around 30% of females aged 16–25 were heavily involved in this, while only about 10% of them watched it. A small difference was observed in horse riding and racing, where both figures were just below 10%. In badminton, slightly more females participated (around 12%) than those who watched it.
📝 Mistakes:
“Sentence order →around 30%
Missing prepositions (“at,” “in”).
“the horse riding” → just “horse riding.”
Missing punctuation.
4️⃣ Original:
In tennis, people watched them is approximately 60, whereas the number of females who participated was at 30. The basketball of females who were the largest percentage at 55 and tennis and golf was the similar portion for participating in sports.
Correction:
In tennis, about 60% of people watched the sport, whereas the proportion of female participants was around 30%. In basketball, females accounted for the largest share at 55%, while the proportions for tennis and golf participation were similar.
📝 Mistakes:
“people watched them is approximately 60” → tense error → “was approximately 60%.”
“The basketball of females who were…” → grammatically incorrect → “In basketball, females accounted for…”
“tennis and golf was” → plural → “were similar.”
Band 6
The bar chart demonstrates the ratio of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in 6 different sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Overall, in a specific country majority of females had watched tennis rather than participating in it. Noticeably, the difference between the ratio of viewers and participants in tennis was big. Girls showed the least interest in watching and participating in horse riding and racing. Amount of viewers was more than participants in all sports, except badminton and golf.
In gymnastics, the amount of participants was just below 10% and it was around 10% less than the amount of viewers. However, in golf, the percentage of participants was 20% more than the viewers at 30%. In basketball, the ration of viewers was under 60% and it was being followed by the participants ratio at 50%. In horse riding and racing, the ratio of viewers and participant was lowest at 5% and 2%
1. Original:
The bar chart demonstrates the ratio of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in 6 different sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of females aged 16–25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the percentage who watched these sports in the year 2000.
Mistakes:
“6” → should be written in words → six
“percentage of people who watched them” → vague; better → percentage who watched these sports
2. Original:
Overall, in a specific country majority of females had watched tennis rather than participating in it.
Correction:
Overall, the majority of females in the country watched tennis rather than participated in it.
Mistakes:
“in a specific country” → awkward; better → in the country
“had watched” → past simple is sufficient → watched
Missing article → the majority
3. Original:
Noticeably, the difference between the ratio of viewers and participants in tennis was big.
Correction:
Noticeably, the difference between the proportion of viewers and participants in tennis was substantial.
Mistakes:
“ratio” → better → proportion (more formal/academic)
“was big” → better → was substantial
4. Original:
Girls showed the least interest in watching and participating in horse riding and racing.
Correction:
Females showed the least interest in both watching and participating in horse riding and racing.
Mistakes:
“Girls” → too informal → Females
Added “both” for clarity
5. Original:
Amount of viewers was more than participants in all sports, except badminton and golf.
Correction:
The number of viewers was higher than the number of participants in all sports, except badminton and golf.
Mistakes:
“Amount” → wrong with countable nouns → number
“was more than” → better → was higher than
6. Original:
In gymnastics, the amount of participants was just below 10% and it was around 10% less than the amount of viewers.
Correction:
In gymnastics, the number of participants was just below 10%, which was approximately 10% less than the number of viewers.
Mistakes:
“Amount” → should be number
Sentence structure → improved with “which was approximately…”
7. Original:
However, in golf, the percentage of participants was 20% more than the viewers at 30%.
Correction:
However, in golf, the percentage of participants (30%) was 20% higher than that of viewers.
Mistakes:
Word order confusing → clarified with extra information
“more than the viewers” → better → higher than that of viewers
8. Original:
In basketball, the ration of viewers was under 60% and it was being followed by the participants ratio at 50%.
Correction:
In basketball, the proportion of viewers was just under 60%, followed by the proportion of participants at 50%.
Mistakes:
“ration” → typo → ratio or better → proportion
“it was being followed by…” → awkward; simplified
9. Original:
In horse riding and racing, the ratio of viewers and participant was lowest at 5% and 2%
Correction:
In horse riding and racing, the proportions of viewers and participants were the lowest, at 5% and 2% respectively.
Mistakes:
“ratio of viewers and participant” → plural consistency → proportions of viewers and participants
Missing article → the lowest
Add respectively to clarify order
Band 6
The bar chat illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 in a particular nation who participated in six different sports, compared with percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Overall, in tennis watching people the highest ,while horse riding and racing is the lowest. However, percentage of participating is lower in other activities than watching, except golf and badminton .
In terms of basketball, the sports is equally was over 50% ,and participating of basketball was 50%,followed by gymnastic, although participating ratio 12% lower than watching. Moreover, 60% of the total watching chose tennis, whereas, participating ratio is 30% .
on the other hand, badminton is over 10%for participating and around 10% watching , the highest percentage of participant of 30% and
1️⃣ Introduction
Original:
The bar chat illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 in a particular nation who participated in six different sports, compared with percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of females aged 16 to 25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the percentage who watched them in the year 2000.
Mistakes:
“bar chat” → spelling error → bar chart
“ratio females under 16-25” → incorrect structure → should be proportion of females aged 16 to 25
Missing article → a particular country
“percentage of people” → too general → better to say percentage who watched them
—
2️⃣ Overview
Original:
Overall, in tennis watching people the highest ,while horse riding and racing is the lowest. However, percentage of participating is lower in other activities than watching, except golf and badminton .
Correction:
Overall, tennis had the highest proportion of viewers, while horse riding and racing had the lowest. However, the percentage of participants was lower than viewers in most sports, except for golf and badminton.
Mistakes:
“in tennis watching people the highest” → grammatical error → tennis had the highest proportion of viewers
Missing plural agreement → is → were (horse riding and racing had the lowest)
“percentage of participating” → incorrect noun form → percentage of participants
Extra space before period (.)
—
3️⃣ Body Paragraph 1
Original:
In terms of basketball, the sports is equally was over 50% ,and participating of basketball was 50%,followed by gymnastic, although participating ratio 12% lower than watching.
Correction:
In terms of basketball, the percentage of viewers was just over 50%, while participation stood at around 50%. This was followed by gymnastics, where the participation rate was about 12% lower than the viewing rate.
Mistakes:
“the sports is equally was over 50%” → incorrect structure → the percentage of viewers was just over 50%
“participating of basketball” → wrong form → participation in basketball
Missing article → followed by gymnastics (not gymnastic)
“participating ratio 12% lower than watching” → missing verb → was about 12% lower than
—
4️⃣ Body Paragraph 2
Original:
Moreover, 60% of the total watching chose tennis, whereas, participating ratio is 30% .
Correction:
Moreover, around 60% of young females watched tennis, whereas only 30% participated in it.
Mistakes:
“60% of the total watching” → awkward → around 60% of young females watched tennis
“participating ratio is 30%” → incorrect form → only 30% participated in it
Unnecessary comma after “whereas”
—
5️⃣ Body Paragraph 3
Original:
on the other hand, badminton is over 10%for participating and around 10% watching , the highest percentage of participant of 30% and
Correction:
On the other hand, badminton had just over 10% participation and around 10% of viewers. Meanwhile, golf recorded the highest participation rate, at about 30%.
Mistakes:
“on” → should be capitalized → On
Missing space after “10%” → 10% for participating
“is over” → incorrect tense → had
“the highest percentage of participant of 30%” → unclear and grammatically wrong → should specify golf recorded the highest participation rate, at about 30%
Sentence incomplete
Band 5.5
1️⃣ Introduction
Original:
The bar chat illustrates the ratio females under 16-25 in a particular nation who participated in six different sports, compared with percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the propojrtion of females aged 16 to 25 in a particular country who participated in six different sports, compared with the percentage who watched them in the year 2000.
Mistakes:
“bar chat” → spelling error → bar chart
“ratio females under 16-25” → incorrect structure → should be proportion of females aged 16 to 25
Missing article → a particular country
“percentage of people” → too general → better to say percentage who watched them
—
2️⃣ Overview
Original:
Overall, in tennis watching people the highest ,while horse riding and racing is the lowest. However, percentage of participating is lower in other activities than watching, except golf and badminton .
Correction:
Overall, tennis had the highest proportion of viewers, while horse riding and racing had the lowest. However, the percentage of participants was lower than viewers in most sports, except for golf and badminton.
Mistakes:
“in tennis watching people the highest” → grammatical error → tennis had the highest proportion of viewers
Missing plural agreement → is → were (horse riding and racing had the lowest)
“percentage of participating” → incorrect noun form → percentage of participants
Extra space before period (.)
—
3️⃣ Body Paragraph 1
Original:
In terms of basketball, the sports is equally was over 50% ,and participating of basketball was 50%,followed by gymnastic, although participating ratio 12% lower than watching.
Correction:
In terms of basketball, the percentage of viewers was just over 50%, while participation stood at around 50%. This was followed by gymnastics, where the participation rate was about 12% lower than the viewing rate.
Mistakes:
“the sports is equally was over 50%” → incorrect structure → the percentage of viewers was just over 50%
“participating of basketball” → wrong form → participation in basketball
Missing article → followed by gymnastics (not gymnastic)
“participating ratio 12% lower than watching” → missing verb → was about 12% lower than
—
4️⃣ Body Paragraph 2
Original:
Moreover, 60% of the total watching chose tennis, whereas, participating ratio is 30% .
Correction:
Moreover, around 60% of young females watched tennis, whereas only 30% participated in it.
Mistakes:
“60% of the total watching” → awkward → around 60% of young females watched tennis
“participating ratio is 30%” → incorrect form → only 30% participated in it
Unnecessary comma after “whereas”
—
5️⃣ Body Paragraph 3
Original:
on the other hand, badminton is over 10%for participating and around 10% watching , the highest percentage of participant of 30% and
Correction:
On the other hand, badminton had just over 10% participation and around 10% of viewers. Meanwhile, golf recorded the highest participation rate, at about 30%.
Mistakes:
“on” → should be capitalized → On
Missing space after “10%” → 10% for participating
“is over” → incorrect tense → had
“the highest percentage of participant of 30%” → unclear and grammatically wrong → should specify golf recorded the highest participation rate, at about 30%
Sentence incomplete
Band 5.5
The bar chart illustrates the ratio of women’s aged 16-25 in a particular nation who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of spectators who watched them in 2000.
Overall, girls in a certain country watched tennis the most rather than the number of girls engaged .Notably, the ratio among viewers and participants golf is huge .Moreover, girls and spectators both in horse riding and racing had less interest .
In terms of basketball, the portion of viewers was followed by the girls who took part in this sports ,around 55% watched this sport and 50% of the girls engaged in this .However, gymnastic was very famous among girls still the ratio of participants was low at 8% and viewers was the 20% .
In contrary, Girls in badminton took participate the most and number of participate
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of women’s aged 16-25 in a certain nation who implemented in activities, instead with the portion of individuals who watching sports in the year 2000.
Overall, both category of sports were more likely on tennis, whereas the least number of females the interested on horse riding and racing. However, the entertainment of females were the highest number on tennis, gymnastics, basketball and horse riding and racing, apart form to others two factors.
According to the watching, females prefer to play the highest number, at 60, which was followed by the basketball and gymnastics, at over 50% and 20%. Moreover, badminton and horse riding of sports watched the same number, at around 5%, while golf was nearly 5% higher than that of watching sports.
Conversely, the basketball of women’s who were keen on the largest percentage, at 50%, and tennis and golf was the similar portion for participating in sports. Furthermore, the figure of badminton spent around over 10%, rather than other figure of sports.
1️⃣ Original:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of women’s aged 16-25 in a certain nation who implemented in activities, instead with the portion of individuals who watching sports in the year 2000.
Correction:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of females aged 16–25 in a certain country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the year 2000.
📝 Mistakes:
“women’s” → wrong possessive → “females.”
“implemented in activities” → unnatural → “participated in sports.”
“instead with” → “wrong connector → “compared with.”
“who watching” → tense error → “who watched.”
2️⃣ Original:
Overall, both category of sports were more likely on tennis, whereas the least number of females the interested on horse riding and racing. However, the entertainment of females were the highest number on tennis, gymnastics, basketball and horse riding and racing, apart form to others two factors.
Correction:
Overall, both categories showed the highest figures for tennis, while the lowest interest among females was seen in horse riding and racing. However, participation and viewership were also relatively high for tennis, gymnastics, and basketball, compared to the other sports.
📝 Mistakes:
“both category” → plural → “both categories.”
“more likely on tennis” → wrong preposition → “more likely in tennis.”
“the interested on” → incorrect → “were interested in.”
“the entertainment of females were the highest number” → wrong structure → “participation and viewership were also high.”
“apart form to others two factors” → spelling and structure → “compared to the other sports.”
3️⃣ Original:
According to the watching, females prefer to play the highest number, at 60, which was followed by the basketball and gymnastics, at over 50% and 20%. Moreover, badminton and horse riding of sports watched the same number, at around 5%, while golf was nearly 5% higher than that of watching sports.
Correction:
In terms of viewership, around 60% of people watched tennis, followed by basketball and gymnastics at just over 50% and 20%, respectively. Moreover, badminton and horse riding/racing were watched by about 5% each, while golf was slightly higher at around 10%.
📝 Mistakes:
“According to the watching” → unnatural → “In terms of viewership.”
“females prefer to play the highest number” → meaning error → “around 60% of people watched tennis.”
Missing “%” signs and word order errors.
“horse riding of sports watched” → incorrect → “horse riding/racing were watched.”
“5% higher than that of watching sports” → redundant → simplified.
4️⃣ Original:
Conversely, the basketball of women’s who were keen on the largest percentage, at 50%, and tennis and golf was the similar portion for participating in sports. Furthermore, the figure of badminton spent around over 10%, rather than other figure of sports.
Correction:
Conversely, basketball had the largest proportion of female participants at 50%, while tennis and golf showed similar participation rates. Furthermore, around 10% of females participated in badminton, which was slightly higher than some other sports.
📝 Mistakes:
“the basketball of women’s” → wrong possessive and structure → “basketball had the largest proportion of female participants.”
“was the similar portion” → plural error → “were similar.”
“figure of badminton spent around over 10%” → wrong verb → “around 10% of females participated.”
“rather than other figure” → unclear → “slightly higher than some other sports.”
Band…5.5